00:00 - 00:03The C1 exam you sat in the morning
00:05 - 00:07It was held here, here and here throughout the country.
00:08 - 00:12The first questions were simple
00:12 - 00:15With basic integration and surds to be solved, and sequences later.
00:17 - 00:19That's fine, I managed alright. John was 28 when he got the total money..
00:19 - 00:21The inequality was the piss as usual.
00:24 - 00:26Mein Furher
00:27 - 00:28The sequences
00:31 - 00:33John was 27, not 28. n = 0 was 9, not 10.
00:34 - 00:37I'm afraid you lost marks there. The rest of the paper was also a fail. You got a U overall.
00:53 - 00:58Anyone who could find the area of the quadrilateral, please leave the room now.
01:13 - 01:15WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT PAPER?!
01:15 - 01:17WHAT FUCKERY WAS THIS BY EDEXCEL?!
01:18 - 01:23I REVISED ALL NIGHT TRYING TO FIND THE DISCRIMINANT FORMULAE, AND ALL I GOT WAS JOHN AND HIS FUCKING GRANDPA
01:25 - 01:28WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN THIS BULLSHIT?
01:29 - 01:31I'M GOING TO EXECUTE EDEXCEL ONE BY ONE AND GAS THEM COMPLETELY
01:31 - 01:34I'M GOING TO RIP ALL OF THEIR DICKS AND SHOVE IT UP THEIR OWN ANAL CAVITIES.
01:34 - 01:37"SHOW THAT THIS IS 4P SQUARED" BULLSHIT AND THE REST.
01:37 - 01:40C1 IS THE EASIEST EXAM? MY FUCKING GAS CHAMBER IT WASN'T.
01:40 - 01:42Mein Furher, they were all extensions question in the mixed exercise at the end of each chapter..
01:42 - 01:46DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT, YOU SLICK HAIRED WANKER?
01:46 - 01:48Mein Furher, all you had to do was know that y = 2 to find the triangle vertex.
01:48 - 01:52I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR DICK OFF AND FEED IT TO THE EXAMINER IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP.
01:53 - 01:54I EVEN BROUGHT A PROTRACTOR AS MY TEACHER SAID.
01:56 - 01:57GUESS WHAT, CALCULATE THE AREA OF A QUADRILATERAL.
01:57 - 02:00I COULDN'T EVEN FIND THE FUCKING PAGE IN MY BOOK.
02:00 - 02:03EDEXCEL BENT ME OVER AND TOOK TURNS TO FUCK ME ONE BY ONE UP BOTH ENDS.
02:04 - 02:08HOW THE FUCK IS JOHN'S GRANDPA THAT RICH THAT I'M MEANT TO FIND OUT HOW OLD HE WAS WHEN HE GOT THAT MUCH MONEY.
02:08 - 02:13HOW CAN I GET 6 MARKS FOR A FUCKING DIFFERENTIATION AND THEN SIMPLIFY IT WHEN I ONLY WROTE TWO LINES??
02:14 - 02:16I WOULD RIP OFF THEIR BALLS JUST TO SHOW THEM HOW FUCKING IRRELEVANT IT WAS.
02:17 - 02:21EVERY INVIGILATOR LOOKED AT ME TO TELL ME THEY COULD SEE ME GETTING FUCKED HARD, AND LET IT CARRY ON.
02:27 - 02:29They could have just given me a McDonalds application.
02:30 - 02:34Here's me, TRYING TO GET A B AT LEAST.
02:34 - 02:36Don't worry, I'd be lucky to scrape a D.
02:41 - 02:42My teacher saying C1 was easy.
02:43 - 02:47All year, with my arse stuck to the library chair trying to differentiate an equation but all I get is some PRICK and his Sugar Daddy.
02:48 - 02:53HOW COULD I CALCULATE THE AREA? WHAT DID THEY WANT ME TO DO? FUCKING INTEGRATE THE LINE OR WHAT?
02:54 - 02:56NOW I'LL NEVER GET THAT B GRADE.
02:56 - 02:59I'm now gonna be selling weed to 12 year olds BEHIND A FUCKING SHED for my future.
03:00 - 03:02All because some prick at EDEXCEL DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT WAS IN THE BOOK.
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry darling, we do BTEC maths.
03:14 - 03:16How can I do anything now?
03:19 - 03:23I should have done BTEC hairdressing when I had the chance.
03:25 - 03:26I could have even done Level 1 Maths, but no.
03:31 - 03:33The time is up.
03:40 - 03:46Edexcel are laughing at us now with their dicks up my arse as I try to become the next roadman.
03:46 - 03:49I hope all of you are coming.
03:53 - 03:56Or else I'm going to execute all of you, one by one.