| 00:00 - 00:03 | Trump has won Indiana. Cruz has dropped out. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Sanders also won Indiana, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | But he still doesn't have the delegates. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Hillary has all but locked up the Democratic nomination. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | It will be Trump vs Clinton for the White House in 2016. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Hillary is going to jail. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Trump has it in the bag. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer. . . |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Trump's opposition. . . |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Trump's opposition are running a smear campaign. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They are saying Trump is like you. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who doesn't want to see me lose my shit, I suggest you leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Trump is like me?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | That ginger mouthpiece is nothing like me! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | He's a TV celebrity! Do they have any idea how hard I worked? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Every fascistic prick who comes along gets compared to me. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | What do I have to do?! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Have these people ever picked up a history book? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | While Trump was eating Taco Bowls in his ivory tower I was homeless in Vienna! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I went to jail for trying to overthrow the government while Trump was judging Miss America pageants! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer, they say its his immigration policies. They say he wants to deport illegal immigrants- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I deported citizens! I told the Jews to stick their green cards up their asses! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, they point to his nationalistic rhetoric- |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | What rhetoric?! He can't form three coherent sentences together! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | He's an idiot! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I wrote a book. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | He just says out loud what all the inbred conservatives are thinking. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | People who probably can't even read a book! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | He rolls out of his featherbed one day and decides to run for President, is that what they think I did?! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I devoted my life to this shit! I had to lie, cheat and kill my way to power! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | How many chancellors has Trump murdered?! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And yet he's "like Hitler". Mao doesn't have to put up with this shit, neither does Stalin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I wrote a fucking book. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I moved the youth to tears with my passion and my zeal. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I made Europe my bitch. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Nationalist rhetoric. . . |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | There's more charisma in my remaining testicle alone than Trump could ever dream of! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Besides, what do they think he could even do even if he wanted to? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Presidents are basically middle management. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Congress will be hostile to him, he'll have no control over the media. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Good luck seizing total power with every twat on Twitter watching you. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK, he doesn't mean you're a twat. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Alright. . . Real talk now. . . |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | These people truly have no idea who I was. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Even so. . . |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | If Trump were like me it wouldn't matter. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Sure, there's executive order. There's also impeachment. And assassination. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Every dickhead and his dog has a gun in that country. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | And it was a miracle I wasn't assassinated. |
