| 00:00 - 00:03 | The polling stations have now closed |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | and the counting of the ballot papers has been completed. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Conservatives 622, Labour 80 |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and Oxted & Limpsfield Residents group 1721 |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Read them again, and this time don't get it wrong |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | My leader |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | the numbers....... |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | the numbers are right. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | I have the results here on my iPhone |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | If you have ever watched a Davina McCall fitness video, leave now |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | 28 fucking years!! |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | 28 years in the safest seat in Tandridge!!! |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How the fuck did a fitness instructor beat us by nearly 1000 votes? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | What the hell went wrong? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Bloody Jackie Wren posters |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | all over the damn district with her smiley |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | face. What happened to all the 'Vote Gordon' posters I had printed up? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | People refused to put them up |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | What the hell do you mean people refused? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | People didn't like the photo |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | What do you mean people didn't like the fucking photo? |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I spent a fortune at Vista Print |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | and now you tell me people didn't like the fucking photo? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | More money pissed up the wall. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I now have 20,000 pictures of Gordon Keymer smiling. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | What am I supposed to do with them? Use them as fucking wallpaper? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | You couldn't even be arsed to turn up to |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | the bloody open meeting to try and sway some votes! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | You could have bullshitted your way through it. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Make up a few answers to keep them happy, tell them what |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | they wanted to hear, but no. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And what about social media? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Did not one of you think of using Facebook or sending a few tweets? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Beaten by a fucking fitness instructor who knows how to use |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Facebook and Twitter!! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | #voteforgordon, #keymerforoxted |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | It's not fucking rocket science people!! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | It's ok. I thought he said to use Tinder too |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | This has been a balls up from day one. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Asking a pharmacist, during his lunch break, to remove a poster from |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | the window of the chemist. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | That was totally and utterly unacceptable. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And now we have to face the fact that after 28 years of a Conservative Oxted |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | we have to hand the reigns over to someone else. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | This is the beginning of the end for us............ |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | One of you fuckers better get to Subway. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Get me a footlong meatball feast. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Hold the olives. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | And do not fuck this one up...... |
