| 00:00 - 00:03 | Now that we've finished 20 turns on Pagoda Peak, |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | it looks like the winner this round |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | will be determined by bonus stars. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Dry Bones has no stars, Boo has one star, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Daisy has one star, and Wario has three stars. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I won like every minigame though |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | so you guys won't come close. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Wario, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | minigames... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Minigames don't have a bonus star this round. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | There's only orb, shopping, and red space stars. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Any of you that got a star from a happening space, DK, or a duel, gtfo. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This game is fucking dogshit! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Minigames actually require skill! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Orb and shopping are practically the same thing |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | and red space is only there to fuck me! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Why else would it be there? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | The only bonus stars that should exist |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | are minigame, running, and coin star, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | which Mario Party 7 left out for no reason. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Wario, it would be unfair to have the same bonus stars ev-- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Don't talk to me about fairness Mr. Deck Hands Champion! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Wario, Daisy won Deck Hands this time. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That's only because she's set to brutal difficulty, |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | she's superhuman! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Not that there's any good |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | minigames in Mario Party 7 besides |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Mad Props and Tile and Error. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I can only play Pokey Pummel and Wingin' It |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | after nine cups of coffee and a bump of coke |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | so I can spaz out on the A button like a jackhammer. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | But at least those games have more substance than Cointagious. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | The bitter irony in all of this |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | is that dumb ape DK has terrible minigames |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | while Bowser's are actually exciting. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | For fuck's sake, |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | if only we had literally any other Mario Party. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | But Gamecube games are more expensive than organs on the black market. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Every Mario Party after 6 is garbage |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and it doesn't look like there will be a new one for a while. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Throw me a bone here, Reggie! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Fuck this, let's play smash. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Let's just start a new game. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I just need enough cruise mileage points to get those sticky buns. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Just five turns. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | On Grand Canal. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We'll do Windmillville when I get a degree in macroeconomics. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I don't understand that shit. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | No mic this time. |
