| 00:00 - 00:03 | We're planning a trip to Hebden Bridge |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | There's a great little pub called the Fox and Goose |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We leave Berlin tomorrow morning |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We're booked on Ryan Air, and arrive at Leeds Bradford airport by midday |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Where we can have a bite to eat in Greggs |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Is Cayn still manager at the Fox and Goose? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | He's a great guy, you know |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | I'm...... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ..I'm afraid we have bad news about Cayn |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He's no longer manager. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Those of you who don't like real ale, leave now.. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is a bloody disaster! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | You always get a full pint with Cayn |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And you can't say that about most of the other staff. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | There's always a friendly greeting when he's there |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And gravy bones for the dogs |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Who else gives you a clean glass every time.. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | and makes sure there's paper in the toilets |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and keeps out the undesirables of Hebden Bridge |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But they've appointed an excellent lady called Hannah.. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Not that bloody woman! Haven't you heard about her?!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, she comes with excellent credentials |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Credentials my ass! What nonsense! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | She'll turn the place into a gin palace |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | There'll be a karaoke machine |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Children and prams everywhere |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Scented candles and lace curtains |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And organic crisps and snacks |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And, even worse, she has an absolutely mental dog |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Which she's bound to bring into the Fox and Goose |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Its flatulence is well known in Eastwood and the Upper Calder Valley |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | It's not even house trained |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | And now it's going to be allowed in the Fox |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | to spread its evil aroma |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | The Fox... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I never though it could sink so low. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | There'll be craft beer next |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And cocktails served with little umbrellas |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and cherries on sticks, in daft glasses |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And corporate uniforms with the Fox and Goose logo. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | And I bet they'll come from Primark |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Nobody can light a fire like Cayn |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Just paper and kindling. No firelighters. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | And one match |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I bet Hannah can't do that |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | She's probably got one of those living flame gas fires |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Just press a button and on it comes! |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | My god...that dog! |
