00:00 - 00:05 | So the Battalion Commander called me up and said, "You're a master instructor right? Quick! We need Company Commanders at 3/5 |
00:05 - 00:07 | Hurry, hurry! We got a great Company for you! |
00:07 - 00:10 | So I thought, "Oh yay! A Company!" |
00:11 - 00:16 | Of course, I re-read war fighting, studied leadership, and got my Alpha's inspection ready |
00:17 - 00:21 | Instead I get called a "BOOT" and shoved in the 3-Shop! |
00:21 - 00:24 | A BOOT! |
00:26 - 00:28 | Hahahah! |
00:29 - 00:31 | A fucking BOOT! |
00:31 - 00:34 | And then I almost got fired at ITX!!! |
00:38 - 00:40 | A boot!!!!! |
00:41 - 00:47 | And then I got put in charge of supervising and being the MC for all the DACs! |
00:47 - 00:50 | And when Kilo really won |
00:50 - 00:56 | I was so drunk that I mixed up the score cards and announced LIMA! HAHAAAAA |
00:58 - 00:59 | They lost the Sledgehammer!! |
00:59 - 01:01 | They had to give it to Lima!! |
01:04 - 01:06 | They even got their names engraved in it! |
01:06 - 01:08 | I said I would fix it but didn't'!!!! |
01:13 - 01:14 | And then I blamed it on Mike White! |
01:14 - 01:16 | He had no idea! |
01:16 - 01:20 | And then the Battalion Commander got up in front of everyone and said, |
01:21 - 01:27 | "And in 1st PLACE, LIMA COMPANY!!!!!" |
01:35 - 01:36 | The look on the Kilo Lieutenants faces! |
01:36 - 01:39 | Those fuckers got compensated with a Meritorious Mast! HAH! |
01:41 - 01:44 | But alright, all seriousness, UDP 16-1 |
01:44 - 01:47 | Two months into the deployment |
01:47 - 01:49 | Battalion Commander reaches into his ass |
01:50 - 01:53 | "Kilo Company Commander!!" |
01:54 - 01:56 | I SHIT YOU NOT! |
01:56 - 01:58 | So I packed my shit up |
01:58 - 02:02 | And told Captain Phillips, "This is DICK'S COMPANY NOW! |
02:05 - 02:07 | Step aside pussy! |
02:10 - 02:11 | Major Sama's face! |
02:11 - 02:13 | He knew better |
02:15 - 02:17 | The Battalion Commander on the other hand, |
02:17 - 02:20 | He had NO idea what he was getting his S-Shops into!! |
02:21 - 02:28 | For example, the Ops-O tried to tell me how to run MY Company and have me do a 13 day package at JWTC, but DICKY strikes again! |
02:29 - 02:30 | "So you bypassed him?" |
02:30 - 02:32 | Yup! Straight to the BC |
02:36 - 02:39 | And the 5 day package was approved!!!! |
02:40 - 02:42 | I'm pretty sure he cried |
02:50 - 02:55 | Yup
definitely burned that bridge |
02:56 - 02:58 | Did you burn any other bridges? |
02:58 - 03:04 | Oh fuck yeah I did!! Like in Korea, when the 4-shop gives dicky a bullshit serving of spaghetti with no meat
dicky-no-likey! |
03:04 - 03:09 | So I called him out on his bullshit, and he cried like a baby |
03:09 - 03:11 | Which reminds me... |
03:16 - 03:20 | Z-packs! |
03:23 - 03:26 | Marines STILL haven't gotten any Z-packs! |
03:31 - 03:36 | Oh, and Combat Hunter, ITS ALL BULLSHIT!!! |