| 00:00 - 00:03 | Blackburn will not know what's hit it... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We'll start at Postal Order for a quiet one |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and proceed onto Molloys |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Its good in there, you wont get stabbed. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | After that, we WERE thinking of getting the taxi into Darwen. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Surely that's expensive. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | What if we got one big mini bus? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ...Steiner wants to go in Liquid. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He says he's going in with or without us. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who thought that was a good idea can get out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | FUCKING LIQUID? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Do they WANT Chlamydia |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And its nearly £6 to get in? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I don't fucking think so! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | They can shove their £2.50 Smirnoffs up their arse! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I wouldn't mind, but they give it you in plastic bottles |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | and you have to make sure you dont make eye contact with anyone |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I'd rather spend the night getting felt up in the stage door |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But sir, you stick to the floors in stage door |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | At least you get good music in there |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, how many times do we have to stare at that horrible drag queen DJ |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | He/She plays good music, i love right said fred |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | And it's only a quid to get in |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Liquid is rough. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | They check you for knives on the door... |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | ...and if you haven't got one, they give you one! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | IT'S FULL OF COKED-UP CHAVS... |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | and that prat who squirts you with bargain aftershave after you've pissed over the toilet floor! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I'd rather dip my dick in the broken urinal if I wanted one "for luck"! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And those bouncers are absolute cocks |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | just because they have arm bands on |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Is there nowhere else we can go? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Somewhere you won't get threatened with some gyppo's cousin? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Live Lounge? |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | The club that's so rough the bouncers have to throw people IN? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Is there ANYWHERE we can go and get bladdered without getting 'killed'? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Somewhere that has Thwaites on draught... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Either that or Red Stripe |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | just not £1 fucking shot tubes |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Anna, He'll be in liquid later on |
| 03:14 - 03:17 | I was looking forward to a Miami Chicken burger afterwards as well... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | They've buggered that up for me too now. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Not hungry. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Maybe we should stay in. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Gary Barlow is picking his final three on X Factor tonight. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | He's the only judge who really knows what he's talking about. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | We'll order PFC |
