| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, I have the worst news possible. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | It's about your Lion King tickets |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | at the Lyceum, tonight... |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Your tickets were supposed to be posted |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | but they never arrived here. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Call the theatre. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | We'll pick them up there. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | They... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They won't let you do that. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | You're not the cardholder. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who's seen The Lion King... leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell is their problem!? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | They've got the biggest show in town |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And they can't even print off another fucking ticket!? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | What do they think is going to happen? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | It's a fucking musical! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | What the fuck happened to the Disney that made "Bambi"!? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Hijacked by corporate interests! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | They'd hunt every deer in Europe if they could sell the corpses! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | You have to understand, you could be anyone trying to take the ticket! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I'm the cardholder's son! We have the same fucking surname! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | The Lyceum say they've seen plenty of customers with your surname, sir... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Bitch, please, when was the last time you casually bumped into a Mr John Hitler at a fucking musical!? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | NEVER HAPPENED! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The same shit as usual |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | "Yes, we understand you're upset!" |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | "It's a security measure!" |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Are you kidding me? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | The last time someone tried to scam Disney out of anything, the court case went international! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | How stupid do they think I am? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | If I wanted to steal anything, it certainly wouldn't be a fucking theatre ticket from Disney! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | All I want is for Simba to learn lessons |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | in the footsteps of his father |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | with the guidance of a wise-cracking meerkat and warthog. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And the film... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | The film was one of the finest animated movies of all time! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | It earned every inch of that fucking Academy Award! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I was so excited. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Everyone says the stage show is incredible. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I say the whole thing is a sham! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, we got him comps to "Ghost"... |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I will be writing to the ticket centre... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Those bastards in despatch will see. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | They'll pay. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It's just... a ticket... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I never had this problem when we went to see "Mary Poppins" |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | That was Disney, wasn't it? |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Simba's a cunt... |
