| 00:00 - 00:05 | Sit right here, Skipper, and I'll tell you a tale about some special JOs. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | This story is wonderful. |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | I've got to tell you about this one kid. |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | He decided he couldn't leave his room to use the bathroom. |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | So he peed in bottles! |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Bottles everywhere! |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | And he failed a room inspection! |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | He did! The only one in the command! |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | He did! |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | Like a savage! Bottles everywhere! They just walked out and said they'd come back next week? |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | And he brought back a beer bottle. For what? To get drunk off? |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | Like he's still in college! Yeah, those days are gone, buddy! You wasted it! |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | Naval Academy! |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | Of course he went to the Academy! |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | And this other... |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | And this other one is even better! |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | It is, it's better! |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | This one guy only comes to work... |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | To ask if he can not be at work! |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | HOLD ON, HOLD ON! THERE'S MORE. THERE IS! THERE IS! |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | THESE GUYS! |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | THESE GUYS HAVE NO IDEA! |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | New guy. It's not possible to be this stupid. |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | We had POM leave, and the regulations say 1630... |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | Is when the block starts... |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | Books his flight home at 1700! |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | 1700! |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | He thought... he thinks he could... |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | Get off work, drive from Oak Harbor to Seattle during rush hour... |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | On a Friday afternoon! |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | 30 MINUTES! |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | 30 MINUTES IS OKAY! |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND TIME! |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | OR DISTANCE. LIKE AT ALL! |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | AND GETTING THROUGH THE AIRPORT IS SUPER EASY. YOU JUST WALK RIGHT THROUGH! |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | He really did that? |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | HE DID! LIKE IT WAS NOTHING. |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | HE LOOKED LIKE A LOST PUPPY! |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO CRY. |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | It broke my heart to explain that the laws of physics still apply to Fleet Lieutenants. |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | Was that the worst? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | No, no. There was a whole crew even dumber than that. |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | They called and requested to check offstation early from a mission... |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | When asked, "why", they said... |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | "Because we're tired." |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | That's what they told him! That was their reason! |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | Like it was their first day in the Navy. These guys. I love 'em, I do, but they are so dumb sometimes. |
