| 00:00 - 00:03 | We've got spies at the Tesla Semi unveil. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We've planted them |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here, here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They're armed with video cameras |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and they've recorded the entire event. |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | Tell everyone the Tesla Semi is shit. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Leader... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | It's actually... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The Tesla Semi is revolutionary. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Our trucks don't stand a chance. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anybody who browses r/SpaceXMasterrace, get out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How have you all failed to smear Tesla! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I literally gave you one job! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | We can't sell our inferior trucks anymore! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Tesla is too strong! People love them too much! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | You only had to make them |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | appear to be silly environmentalists! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And you fail to perform even that simple task! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | What's the point of paying off the EPA- |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Don't worry, we can pay them more - |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | That's not the point! Tesla's product is better than ours! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Diesel isn't as bad as the public thinks- |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Yes it is! Are you a moron? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Diesel fucking sucks! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | It's a pain upon the earth! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Electric vehicles are obviously superior! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Diesel is a dead-end garbage fuel! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | But we make a lot of money with it! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | You morons couldn't even make people hate Hitler! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | How could you not see Roadster 2 coming? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Even a moron like Stalin could see that. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Maybe I'm being too hard on you. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I just want to prolong the life of diesel. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I get paid a lot to keep it alive. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Unlike you lot- |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I have a useful purpose in life! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I have dedicated my life to "clean diesel"! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But none of you understand my sacrifices. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I've even driven shitty American cars! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Do you know how shitty Chevys are? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Anna, he secretly likes Elon. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We'll work through this. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Maybe some innovation - in moderation. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It would have helped. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | But now, it's too late. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Now that Tesla unveiled the Semi, they'll take over our market. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I suppose it's not your fault. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Diesel does make you stupid. |
