| 00:00 - 00:03 | Ive called you all here to see the new Ale Trail. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Its got all 20 pubs on it, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | North and South of the river, here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | All the names are right this time, and everything. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Weve even got North Bar and Tap House on it. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | And its all OK? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | You havent cocked up the phone numbers again? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Well, there is one thing |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Stew & Oyster |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We forgot to put Stew & Oyster on the map again. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And theyve already sponsored us. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone leave apart from Chairman, Secretary and Treasurer |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You bloody idiots! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | All you had to do was count the damned pubs! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Do you realise what this means for our bank account! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | 5000 wasted copies |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Now we might as well burn the lot |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And burn you cretins with them |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You already put us all in debt |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | by putting on that stupid Civil War battle. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But that weekend was a huge success! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Well you can pay the thousand pounds we still owe then! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But it wasnt just my fault |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Like proof-reading the Ale Trail wasnt your fault eh? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | You bunch of arseholes! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | What will you want to do next? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Bring Hollywood stars into Otley |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | for Yorkshire Day 2018? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Dame Judi Dench and Sean bloody Bean |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Falling over themselves to turn up free at the flaming Fleece & The Horse and farting Farrier! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And Beans a Sheffield United fan for Gods sake! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And I suppose Taylor Swift turning up for karaoke at Whitakers? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And what other shit have you dropped me in? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Do I have to do everything here myself? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I darent even look at the pub descriptions |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Take The White Swan |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | An Ostlers house? What the hell is an Ostlers house? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And The Roebuck Just up the hill? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Have you seen our members? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Most of their beer bellies would explode |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | before they even got as far as Prince Henrys! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | (No, youre pregnant love its not a beer belly.) |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | You lot will have to put this right. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I can only see one way out of this. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Its Otley BID. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Were going to have to beg |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Youll all have to wear bright orange T-shirts |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and those stupid hats |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | and join the Town Team Volunteers |
