| 00:00 - 00:03 | Monday and Tuesday are always quiet days... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Hangovers and that |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | On Wenesday, tracing family members |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | ...Thursday for recipes and travel advice to Ireland |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and Friday for giving out about the prices in Ireland |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Good...Saturday for laying into Trump |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | And Sunday's too... |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Sundays |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Sundays are designated for selfies... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | ...Selfie Sunday... |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who has never drunk Guinness in Temple Bar, leave the room now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Are you for fucking real ? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I've never heard such crap... |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | ...Selfies are the spawn of Stalin himself.. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | He bought shares in Apple you know ? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Bastard is worth a small fortune now... |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Invest in that Ponzi scheme you told me |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You'll double your money in 24 hours you said... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | But now I haven't even got a pot to piss in |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, Mr. Madoff was very convincing... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Convincing my arse you complete cretin |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, the iPhone is just a fad... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | A fad ? Open your eyes, every bollocks has one |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | To take selfies ! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Morning, noon and night they're at it |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | And now Irish Around The World designate a day for them... |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And on a Sunday of all days |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Why not Monday or Tuesday ? There is nothing on TV... |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | ...and the internet would bore the shite out of you early in the week... |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | But selfies on a Sunday is immoral... |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Dirty old fellows come out of the woodwork and can't click 'Like' quick enough |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | It didn't have to come to this. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | We could have come to some arrangement with IATW |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I could have posted the first selfie.. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Not that one obviously... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | When I fell off the pier in Dingle trying to get Fungi in the shot |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Göring the fat shit could have warned me... |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | ...but he was too busy eyeing up the ice cream van... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | ...he had to have a 99 with a huge dollop of hundreds and thousands |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And I destroyed a good Nokia 6310i |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | I won't say you got over 1k likes for your selfie |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | There is only one thing for it... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | ...as much as it pains me to do this... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | ...I must. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Someone call Carmel... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | ..she is the selfie queen on Irish Around The World... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | ...she can create a good selfie of me for Sunday... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | We'll give her Poland for doing it... |
