| 00:00 - 00:03 | We still have site registration and login issues... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Also having some outages near the main database servers... |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We also have API load and Magento caching issues |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We do plan to implement more stringent QA |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and enable AB testing and loyalty program |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Well, when we transition out of Magento and into Mint.JS, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | everything should be okay. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | All of these issues are AFTER we transitioned |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | over to using the API completely... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We seem to be running into critical regression problems even more.. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Any interns, designers, consultants, people on the 4th floor.... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | ... and especially investors, leave the room now. |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | What the FUCK is this shit! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | We've had problems FOREVER. How HARD can this be? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | It's ALWAYS slow, it takes weeks to |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | get a SIMPLE fix in! Nothing ever works right! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | We can't even SELL things that everyone ELSE is selling EASILY |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | We DON'T even KNOW what's wrong! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Blah blah blah, Just make it API centric! Just make a new MINT every 2 weeks! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, We made 6 mints in 2 years!! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | We thought we would be making 10!!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But we have CELEBRITIES! Michelle Rodriquez, Jessica Simpson, Timberlake, the TWINS! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | WHO CARES? for what.... high royalties? Painful approval process? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | So they can showcase their entourage's work? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They micro-manage our stuff, tell us what to do... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Doesn't even matter! We can't even send emails out! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And even if they got the email, they can't get to the site! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And even if they found what they want... |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | ... and the site is working, they still can't buy it! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Because we don't recommend what they want! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | We thought our customers would just take this from us? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | You thought we can just charge them every month? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | We thought it would be easy money? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Just because some celebrities say to buy it? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | We just put up some pretty pictures... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Put some other celebrity curators.. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Get on TechCrunch a few times... |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Get a lot of funding... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And make a lot of noise... |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And that's all we thought we had to do? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | This isn't 1999, this is 2012! |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | People are careful because they |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | NO FUCKING MONEY |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | They like to make informed decisions... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | They won't just buy anything! |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And we just launch more mints |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and we think we can just gloss over |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | and fix everything... No fucking way... |
