| 00:00 - 00:02 | An NZRFU Production. |
| 00:02 - 00:03 | (subtitles added for the foreigners) |
| 00:04 - 00:06 | Richie's 1st birthday. |
| 00:06 - 00:08 | He was born one. |
| 00:09 - 00:12 | And he will stay #1 forever. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Richie, seen here representing Australia at age grade. |
| 00:15 - 00:18 | Before he said yeah nah yellow, wot's thet shit |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Those stupid mountains in the background were painted in for Lord of The Rings. |
| 00:25 - 00:26 | Ignore them. |
| 00:27 - 00:29 | See? You don't even see them if you don't think about them. |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | "Le Filme le quelle magnifique Le Lorde of le Ringe" -- French Herald |
| 00:35 - 00:38 | Richie broke the mountains by sitting on them. |
| 00:39 - 00:43 | Working title for sequel to this film: "Brokeback Mountain" |
| 00:44 - 00:47 | "I saw The Hobbit. It was shit."- Siskel and Ebert |
| 00:48 - 00:50 | Was Phil Waugh in The Hobbit? Just curious. Ahh, fuckit, never mind. |
| 00:51 - 00:54 | Richie makes his debut for the Oamaru Under-8's. |
| 00:55 - 00:59 | Richie, seen here aged 12 (mum fudged the papers) |
| 01:01 - 01:05 | #1 yellow, coming in from the side. |
| 01:06 - 01:07 | Disgraceful. |
| 01:09 - 01:11 | Richie is #1. |
| 01:12 - 01:14 | Born one. |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | #1 Forever. |
