| 00:00 - 00:03 | Star wars episode 7 comes out in 2 weeks. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Reports are that they are already sold out |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | at theatres located |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | on the map |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | here and here. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Check the other 2 theatres |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | on the north side of town. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | those ...... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | those theatres burned to the ground |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | after riots after the movie "Burnt" opened. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All those that already have their Star Wars tickets, had better leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Why was I not informed!!! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I did not know you could get your tickets early!!!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I should execute someone in the hall and take theirs!!! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I have been looking forward to this movie.. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Which one should be executed? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | The bald guy with bad gas... |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Or how about that girl that won't stop crying... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I am really sick of her!! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | That is my brothers wife, you cannot kill her my fuhrer |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I can execute whoever I want!!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My fuhrer...please... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | We all know you see her |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | when your brother is out of town!!! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | She is not a true fan.... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | She likes "The Phantom Menace"!! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Jar Jar Binks is her favorite character!! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Jar Jar was an acid tripped induced dream |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | George Lucas had and thought it should be |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | put to film!!! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Nearly runined the franchise forever! Lucky I am still a fan. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Then he gave the new film to JJ Abrahms.. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | That man is a genius.. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | What he can do for ailing franchises is impressive.... |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And now, I will miss the opening |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I have not missed a Star Wars opening since "The Empire Strikes Back"! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | How can I be called a true fan after this. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Even my life size R2D2 replica. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | cannot make up for this!! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Even my Darth Vader underware |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | See, he is not going to execute you.. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | But I know one of you in this room.... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | has an extra ticket, and are not telling me. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | in your pocket. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The force is strong with this one. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | For the love of everything Star Wars, give me the ticket. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | A long time ago... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | In a galaxy far far away.. |
