00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, I've planned the rest of your day |
00:04 - 00:05 | 3:30pm is Zumba class |
00:05 - 00:07 | ...followed by yoga with the sexy teacher. |
00:08 - 00:12 | For dinner I've ordered a 50/50 pizza from El Faro |
00:12 - 00:15 | Also, a bag of weed is on the way and should be arriving around 8:00pm |
00:17 - 00:21 | That all sounds fine, but what alcohol will I be having with my pizza |
00:24 - 00:26 | Sir.... |
00:27 - 00:28 | We... |
00:31 - 00:33 | We only had £4 left over... |
00:33 - 00:36 | ...so we bought a bottle of Distant Vines. |
00:53 - 00:58 | Could everyone not involved with this choice of beverage please leave |
01:13 - 01:15 | DIstant Vines taste like piss! |
01:15 - 01:17 | Everybody knows Distant Vines tastes like piss! |
01:18 - 01:23 | I ask you to plan just one day for me and look what happens |
01:25 - 01:28 | Heads will roll for this, I swear it |
01:29 - 01:34 | What will people think if they see their Fuhrer drinking such a low quality drink? |
01:34 - 01:37 | You're all complete and utter degenerates |
01:37 - 01:40 | I should have you all shot right here and now |
01:40 - 01:42 | Sir it was all the money we had left |
01:42 - 01:46 | Then don't buy Distant Vines you fool! I'll drink water instead |
01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, we wanted you to relax after your gym session |
01:48 - 01:52 | You wanted me to relax. Drinking bottled piss? |
01:53 - 01:54 | You don't have a fucking clue! |
01:56 - 02:00 | Each night the shop owner concocts that shit in the back room |
02:00 - 02:03 | ...sticks a label on it and idiots like you think it's real wine. |
02:04 - 02:08 | You could have bought anything else and I would have been happy |
02:08 - 02:13 | Makulu, Stowells, Hardy's, a nice Riesling... |
02:14 - 02:16 | Even fucking Lambrini will do! |
02:17 - 02:21 | But no, you pick out the drink that makes me look like a clueless hobo |
02:27 - 02:29 | I blame myself... |
02:30 - 02:34 | I should have emphasised how much I love good wine |
02:34 - 02:36 | It gives me vitality and strength |
02:41 - 02:42 | What am I going to do with you people? |
02:43 - 02:47 | What can be done do teach you imbeciles the importance of good wine? |
02:48 - 02:53 | You will all drink nothing but horrible Distant Vines from now on |
02:54 - 02:56 | Then you'll realise how serious this sitaution is |
02:56 - 02:59 | And you'll never ever make this mistake again |
03:00 - 03:02 | Look at you all just standing there like a bunch of stuffed puppets |
03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK Anna, we won't have to drink it |
03:14 - 03:16 | I was on the verge of conquering Europe |
03:19 - 03:23 | Now my closest advisors are bringing me Distant Vines |
03:25 - 03:26 | I've lost |
03:31 - 03:33 | The end is near for me |
03:40 - 03:46 | I'm going to retire to my quarters with a nice rum and coke now |
03:46 - 03:49 | A proper drink, with substance and real flavour |
03:53 - 03:56 | It should help the cyanide taste better |