| 00:00 - 00:03 | We are continuing our search for the town of Timpdon |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have searched Germany and Belgium and know the railway town is not there |
| 00:08 - 00:10 | We have now invaded all the countries you ordered |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | But we still cant find the seaside town of Timpdon or the railwayâs engine sheds |
| 00:18 - 00:21 | Then we will shall get extra armies and search some more countries |
| 00:23 - 00:24 | Sir |
| 00:27 - 00:29 | Tell him |
| 00:32 - 00:33 | Sir. We are all beginning to think that Timpdon isnât a real place.. |
| 00:33 - 00:37 | Many of us think that it is just a model railway layout⦠|
| 00:53 - 00:59 | If any of you think Timpdon is a real seaside town, then you should leave the room |
| 01:14 - 01:18 | Its a bloody model? Does it look like a Hornby train set? |
| 01:19 - 01:21 | They are live steam engines! |
| 01:22 - 01:23 | I want to go and see something beautiful |
| 01:24 - 01:26 | to see something nice |
| 01:27 - 01:29 | Theres certainly nothing pretty to look at around here! |
| 01:30 - 01:33 | Is it too much to ask to invade a little seaside town |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Oh Yes! You managed to give me countries with LGB trains |
| 01:38 - 01:40 | But nothing with real steam trains |
| 01:41 - 01:42 | But Sir - Our Intelligence said it was on the Island of Sodor |
| 01:43 - 01:45 | I don' think so, Dumkoff! |
| 01:45 - 01:46 | They must think I'm stupid |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | But Sir! The SS said that Sodor has lots of nice steam trains |
| 01:50 - 01:52 | Oh they did, did they! The SS couldnât find Sodor on the map either! |
| 01:53 - 01:55 | They are all morons |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | Do engines at Timpdon have faces? |
| 01:59 - 02:01 | Do the engines talk to each other and sing little happy songs all day? |
| 02:02 - 02:05 | Everyone knows it's only standard gauge engines that do that |
| 02:06 - 02:08 | Timpdon is a lot more interesting with its swinging bridge and barbeques. And then thereâs that man.. |
| 02:09 - 02:12 | who has taken off his trunks in the water |
| 02:13 - 02:16 | We could all go and see that on holiday |
| 02:17 - 02:22 | They are even advertising the Open Day |
| 02:28 - 02:32 | They have a website. But you lot couldn't find your bum with both hands! |
| 02:33 - 02:36 | The Timpdon team are laughing in my face |
| 02:37 - 02:40 | Taunting me, sending me pictures of their railway |
| 02:41 - 02:44 | With kiddies getting water squirted in their face |
| 02:45 - 02:49 | There's a war on. I'm trying to take over the world and they run a jazz train playing happy tunes |
| 02:50 - 02:53 | Then they put a postcard on YouTube of a big fat girl sat on the beach waving at trains |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Eating pork pies, |
| 02:57 - 03:00 | With her massive boobies hanging out of her swimming costume |
| 03:01 - 03:03 | She looks like that girl Olga from Admin |
| 03:06 - 03:07 | Don't cry - your boobies aren't that big |
| 03:15 - 03:19 | I don't ask for too much |
| 03:20 - 03:26 | I wanted the world with Timpdon in it |
| 03:27 - 03:28 | Damn it |
| 03:32 - 03:38 | But it still can't be found |
| 03:40 - 03:45 | I'm supposed to have the best senior officers |
| 03:46 - 03:50 | but they think it's just a toy train. How can it be a toy with real steam? |
| 03:54 - 03:57 | Damn those Timpdon people |
