| 00:00 - 00:05 | Didn't create him |
| 00:00 - 00:03 | We still have plenty of DEADITES at your disposal, they are loyal to you |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Approximately 20,000 control the southern and eastern checkpoints |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We are the weakest on the northwest front though |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | But we believe the main attack will come from the East |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | However we are unsure of the reports from the witches |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Don't worry, My DEADITES will not fail me |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | They are too powerful |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My leader |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We learned |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We learned, that the allies recruited your nemesis |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Ash Williams is leading the attack |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Those that have not seen any of the Evil Dead films get out |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Where'd they FIND HIM? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How the Hell DID THEY FIND HIM? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I THOUGHT HE WAS TRAPPED BACK WITH THOSE MEDIEVAL MORONS |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | He had to find that Damn book |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | He can't even SAY THE DAMN ENCHANTMENT CORRECT |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I HAD to learn it from my SS |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | This Ash Williams is not to be underestimated |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Need I remind you he was awake when cut off his own hand with a Damn chainsaw |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My leader that was a myth, he was sedated |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | YOUR BRAIN SHOULD BE SEDATED, for once USE YOUR BRAIN |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My leader,,,,Nobody could withstand that much pain. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | My NUTZ COULD GET SQUASHED AND I WOULDN'T FEEL IT |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I THINK OF A HAPPY PLACE |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Ash is pretty handy with tools as well...His steel hand was a thing of beauty |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | But you boneheads wouldn't know craftsmanship if it bit you on the ASS |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | That metal fist made was a thing of beauty, I wanted that for all of you.. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I was going to surprise you all at the next office party. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | But ALL ASH NEEDS IS A CHAINSAW AND THAT DAMN SHOTGUN |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | OMG THAT SHOTGUN, Every time He shoots that Damn thing he has to shiver |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | As IF HE IS TAKING A PISS ON A COLD MORNING |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I never shiver like that, even WHEN I take a piss... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | A good piss can be very refreshing, just lean against the wall. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | AND LET IT GO |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Ash Williams has the nerve to steal my catchphrases as well. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | It's the only way he can get women by saying " Give me some sugar baby" |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I perfected that phrase with all the secretaries here. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But I got news for you ASH WILLIAMS.... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | You won't find any sugar here my 2 headed friend |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I've ordered NO SUGAR FOR YOU |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | don't worry sweety, Ash will ask you for some |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | The harsh reality is, we can't win |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I could have 100,000 DEADITES and it wouldn't Matter |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | You men need to sacrifice yourself |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Cut your stomachs open and slit your throats. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Every one take turns, draws straws I don't care how. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I need everything I got to defeat Ash. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | All of this could have been avoided if Bruce Cambell and Sam Rsimi |
