| 00:00 - 00:03 | This is where we started on Friday |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | and then on Saturday |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | this was the route of the train |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | across the Northumberland Hills |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | finishing in the fleshpot capital of England, here in Newcastle |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | It really was an excellent weekend |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I look forward to hearing about it in Tom's speech. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Er, Mein Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | your invite.. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Your invite is only for the evening do |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | I'm afraid you didn't make the A-list. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Those of you with day do invites please leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | A bastard evening do invite |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | What in Christs name does a man have to do? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I trail half way around the fucking north of England |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | It's a sodding outrage. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I blew over £300 on that little shit's behalf |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Drinking shots of Jaeger whilst three in the morning |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | and risked getting my face filled in |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | putting pegs on random Geordies. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, Brammers isn't going to the night do either |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Well that hardly surpises me |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, Brammers is just as gutted |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That's got shite all to do with it you fucking halfwit |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | this is personal |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | What pisses me off more |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | is the people who have been invited. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Just think about it will you. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | By the time the best man gets up to do his speech |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | half of the fucking lightweights will either be in bed |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | or throwing their hoops up in the toilets. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And those that aren't will be drinking gay cocktails out of goldfish bowls. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | A wedding needs proper men |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | solid beer drinking types |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | who know the words to Bon Jovi |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Not Macy fucking Gray. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | and I won't even get chance to chat up the bridesmaids |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | before the RAF lads get in there first |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | with their heroic flying stories of daredevil rescues |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | swinging around below helicopters like Tarzan |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Half of which I'm sure they have made up. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry I'm sure Mase will bring a matrix. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Fuck me lads |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I thought I felt ill on Saturday morning |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | but this is something else. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It feels like those prawns are going to come back. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Maybe I should throw up everywhere |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | it'd probably get me a seat at the top table. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | You couldn't make it up. |
