| 00:00 - 00:03 | All Black Friday shopping should be finished around noon |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Just in time for some refreshments |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We will be minutes away from Berlin |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | And all of its culinary options |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | My suggestion is cookies and coffee at this Starbucks |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Cool, I can get a Christmas Cup |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Decorations make it yummy for my tummy |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Starbucks... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Starbucks removed Christmas decorations on their cups |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | It's just a plain red cup |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who gets their caffeine fix from Folgers, 5 Hour Energy, or K-cups... get out |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT in the FUCK! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I mean WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The only thing I can really think of is that I'm being trolled |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Where are the cameras? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Where are they? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Because I'd understand if Ashton Kutcher was punking me |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Are you telling me no snowflakes? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Are you telling me not even a Christmas Tree? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer, the tree is actually a Pagan trad... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | IT'S CHRISTMAS TREE! You know, like Jesus |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, it was actually appropriated to spread Christianity to Paga... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | SHUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING FACE! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | No SHIT! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You think I don't know the tree's origins? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | No one buys that Pagan winter solstice celebration |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Just you and other hipsters who want to be "different" |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | That's not the point |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | To me it's a symbol that Jesus is the reason for the season |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | But Starbucks is ruining the holidays with this PC culture bullshit |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | It's clear that the Starbucks CEO is some atheist tyrant, like Stalin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | It's a damn shame I'm addicted to their products |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I used to functions just fine on an old fashioned cup of Joe |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | It's all I fucking needed |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | But now I want a frothy latte |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Or a fancy little caramel machiato |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Or a peppermint mocha in a Christmassy cup |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | It all started with that stupid bitch making me try new things |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I didn't need to know about the flat white |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Now I'm addicted to flat whites like you bitch |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, these tantrums are a Zehncentstück a dozen |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Along with Fall came the pumpkin spice latte |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I sucked it up, because it signaled that Christmas was around the corner |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Right asshole? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I'll have your head |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | That's what happens when you fuck up the order, and I gotta drink that nasty pumpkin shit |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Even a proper holiday cup wouldn't make that edible |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | A plain red cup? GTFOH |
