| 00:00 - 00:03 | All that I required was a few paste colours, nothing special! |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | I assumed it would come in a plain padded envelope |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | By a direct route , to my door |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Normally , sir, yes, but sometimes by courier even, along this route! |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | They try to be as discreet as possible, knowing how much you dislike pink! |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I just didn't want anyone to find out that I like cake decorating! |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | It's so hard to make cute little cake toppers when you are a dictator! |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | But sir, you do them so well, and, it can just be our secret! |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Yes, I won't tell a soul! |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Neither will I ! |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We'll all keep schtum, and you will keep your street cred! |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | So, whose bloody idea was it to use THAT company?? |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | One of YOU three, come on, fess up! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Not at all discreet, man, those boxes!!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I wouldn't mind an odd , dicreet little flower, in a corner somewhere, even a printed logo! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | ...but one of you ,ONE of you, knew they sent stuff in PINK ,BRIGHT pink boxes!!! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Jeez- they might as well have carried in a neon sign that says I do CROSS STITCH! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Okay, so I do, but the whole WORLD doesn't need to know that! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I'm supposed to be a hard case, without empathy or fellow feeling! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | -and a HUMONGOUS pink box arrives, and I had to SIGN for it on the ruddy doorstep! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | I'm sorry sir, they promised a plain brown wrapper, for blokes! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | All the kids from the secondary school saw me signing for it |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | but boss, I wouldn't have thought it mattered THAT much! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | You're a total wassock, you know how much I hate that bloody colour! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I had to suffer for three years with that colour in my bedroom! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | That, and the Mickey Mouse wallpaper! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | No wonder I left home so soon! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and, nobody would let me have an Action Man Doll! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | It was Sindy and bloody Barbie all the time! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | They wouldn't let me wear black when I was a teenager! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I had a bloody nightmare whenever I saw that colour ,from that day on! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | It made me feel like invading Poland! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Now, I shall have to invade Poland again! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Couldn't it have just, for once, been a nice, plain brown box? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Like the ones those discreet companies use? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | that is all I ask, not bloody PINK! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | If it happens again, I shall have to get really shirty about the whole affair! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I'll never make another Hello Kitty cake again! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | nor 'Murder In The Night Garden'! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | You'll be getting a 'Frozen' cake , with princesses and bloody snowmen that you can get in any cheap shop! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | or a damnasty one with plastic footballers and a stupid green rectangle that looks like a football pitch! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Damn, that means I'm not getting an 'Emily the Strange ' one THIS year! |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | don't even THINK that you'll be having sprinkles, or airbrushing, it'll look like it was from the Co-OP! |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I have lost my creative muse because you think I was over the pink thing! |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | whether they do a good eal or not, the pink box finished me |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | You'll have to buy a Star Wars one from the Asda |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | maybe one of those rainbow coloured ones with little Smarties inside could make me smile again |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | But don't ever ask me to do that Burlesque hippo in a bikini and nipple tassels |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | All that I needed was a plain brown box! |
