| 00:00 - 00:03 | There's one person left who hasn't shared or liked one of Jim's ramblings |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | He has 225 friends in common and bought a pair of red sticks in 2013 |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We have a satellite on the house here |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Tyler Fry has this week decided he likes Jim and will now pursue this traitor |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and will base himself from outside the property |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Can't we use Tyler's band of fake fans to surround the whole area? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and they can wave those silly fluffy things |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir, we have some bad news on that front |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | those fans |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | those fans are in bed as they're all 12 and it's after their bed time |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | they only converse with him through social media |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | only stay if you believe my lies, I need people who believe the moon is made of cheese |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I told Pipes & Drums to publish Currie's latest statement without reading it |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How dare somebody stop this bullshit machine from rolling on |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I have told this team they are the best group of drummers I have ever had in this practice hall |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | well that was all bollocks and now they know I lie when I tell them I love them |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | two of the girls are going |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | who does that PM think he is? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | he may have won us the worlds but I am bigger then this band |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I have 70 colours of sticks |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir you only have 9 and Ryan has a new book coming out |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | a book? I can't fucking read unless it is posted on Facebook |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, nobody in Grade 1 believes the mess you have created |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Well Andrew Yu does and that's all that matters here |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Now Ryan has just broke my pen |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Next you will be telling me that I have lost the plot. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Once I send this story to the Express the world will believe that this is the beginning of the end |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I'll get it right up them all. Spirit of Scotland better be ready to release DVD number 2 |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Highland Wedding, Mrs Mac, The Sheepwife I wrote them all |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | it is not my fault I cannot remember the order of the parts |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I decide the order not that young kid from Norn Iron |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Has he ever wrote a fanfare watched by 50 people at the Todd Bar 15 times a day? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | who is going to take over? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | who has the passion in their heart? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | big muscles to help carry my merchandise |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I have a house full of rubbish that going to take years to sell |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Even a room full of those stupid bass beaters |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | He told me the girls and boys would buy them by the truck load |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I know where I am going to stick them but he probably wants that |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | It can only get worse if you guys have agreed a successor |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | all praying for this day to come |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok he seems to have forgot about sacking you |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | If I could choose then I would have wanted it to be Blair |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | but I want people to feel sorry for me so I can sell stuff at the Todd Bar |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I've pre-ordered stuff to match my Armani jeans from 1990 |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It's all mediums and I want you to wear it like tight Diesel |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | The Vale and Denny have been on the phone |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Tell Scott to compose a 13 page statement for me |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'll colour it in later |
