00:00 - 00:03 | Reports confirm the play "Blackadder" is superb |
00:04 - 00:05 | From all directions |
00:05 - 00:07 | theatre-goers are swarming towards the Rep |
00:08 - 00:12 | Police have cordoned off Shelton |
00:12 - 00:15 | as crowds chanting "We have a cunning plan!" head up Leek Road |
00:17 - 00:19 | Yes, get tickets |
00:19 - 00:21 | for Eva and me next week. |
00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
00:27 - 00:28 | "Blackadder"... |
00:31 - 00:33 | "Blackadder" ends on Saturday |
00:34 - 00:36 | and every performance is sold out. |
00:53 - 00:58 | Owners of the "Blackadder" DVD boxset, leave now. |
01:13 - 01:15 | But I've learnt all the catchphrases! |
01:15 - 01:17 | All the catchphrases! |
01:18 - 01:23 | And I've grown this moustache in tribute to my comedy idol! |
01:25 - 01:28 | Endlessly practising how to say "Bob!" |
01:29 - 01:31 | Insisting female staff dress like boys |
01:31 - 01:34 | Hours in front of the mirror |
01:34 - 01:37 | perfecting my sarcastic frowns |
01:37 - 01:40 | and I don't get to see the show? |
01:40 - 01:42 | Let's arrange a private performance here |
01:42 - 01:46 | Its' not the same! I want to go to the Rep! |
01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, here is just as good. |
01:48 - 01:52 | Don't be ridiculous, watch a performance alone? |
01:53 - 01:54 | I'd rather French kiss |
01:56 - 01:57 | a skunk. |
01:57 - 02:00 | I relish mingling with my fellow fans |
02:00 - 02:03 | with underpants on my head |
02:04 - 02:08 | and pencils up my nose. |
02:08 - 02:13 | This is the stickiest situation |
02:14 - 02:16 | since Sticky the Stick Insect |
02:17 - 02:21 | got stuck on a sticky bun. We're in trouble! |
02:27 - 02:29 | The one who plays Baldrick |
02:30 - 02:34 | they say, hasn't bathed for weeks |
02:34 - 02:36 | and sleeps in a puddle. |
02:41 - 02:42 | Dedication. |
02:43 - 02:47 | Dedication that is. And now I will miss the show |
02:48 - 02:53 | because you malodorous runts didn't buy tickets! |
02:54 - 02:56 | You willl suffer a fate worse than death! |
02:56 - 02:59 | A fate worse than a fate worse than death! |
03:00 - 03:02 | I will insert curtain rods up all your bottoms! |
03:04 - 03:07 | Chin up! You'll be out of those itchy trousers soon. |
03:14 - 03:16 | And the crowning turd in the waterpipe, |
03:19 - 03:23 | the reason I am so gutted to miss the show, is that I hear |
03:25 - 03:26 | Derek Yeomans |
03:31 - 03:33 | is word perfect. |
03:40 - 03:46 | If you want to know how I'm feeling right now... |
03:46 - 03:49 | it rhymes with |
03:53 - 03:56 | "Clucking Bell". |