| 00:00 - 00:03 | We've been informed, Gary England is leaving T.V. weather. |
| 00:03 - 00:08 | It's hard to say this. |
| 00:03 - 00:08 | "Big ol'opossum in my yard." |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | What we'll be watching now is David Payne. |
| 00:05 - 00:10 | Might as well find a witch doctor. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | But Gary England has been our source of accurate weather forever. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | No more Friday night in the big town. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | What kind of idiot operation would let this happen. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We could put Gary England in the weather protection program. Locating him in Berlin. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Give him a name of Thunder Lizard. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Well my two cents would be to put moles at all the T.V. stations. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Maybe we could get our information from Michael, Jed, or Nick. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | That would be difficult. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | But not as much as listening to Mike or Damon. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I would like to see a solution to this. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | No chocolate for anyone until this is solved. |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I'll have any non producing sleazeballs painting parking post yellow. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You people put in 16 hour days are my sticks. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The rest will be sweeping rocks from the parking lot. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I will not be forced to listen to Mike or Damon |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | How about we get a Tulsa weatherman, or from Texas. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | No Texas people. It takes all of Texas to keep the Bushes corralled. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And then some of them escaped to Florida. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Tulsa won't work. All they know is green country. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Don't try Kansas people. They've hailed on too much. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Arkansas has those ugly hogs. They won't do. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Too much hot sauce carried around with Louisiana. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | No one from Missouri. We would have to show them to much. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You know what happens if we fail, IDIOTS. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I'll tell you what happens. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | We'll be overrun with tornados. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We won't know when to plant beans. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | With no accurate weather, we'll be a laughing stock. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I'll bet half of you will get your tongue stuck to the fence post. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Because you won't know it's frozen. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | You'll be scared of ghost, but it's just the fog. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | You'll think burning eyes are chasing you. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | It's just lightening bug season. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | You won't take the paddle up the river. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | No one told us the water is rising. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | You won't be able to sleep. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | The grass will be making too much noise, growing. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Because no one told us, this is the wettest year on record. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | We look like some kind of fools parade. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | I can't stand this. They should just get the weather girls Danielle, Emily, or Lacy. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I'm going to give you a few minutes to think our quandary over. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | While I hum a few bars of . |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | "There's been a change in the weather." |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Where have we heard that before. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | "Change the way the wind blows" |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | ."Buy myself some different clothes" |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | "Big ol'raccoon in my garden" |
