| 00:00 - 00:03 | Over a hundred students have taken the exam |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They were placed in two different locations: |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Mudd Auditorium and Remsen Hall |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | There were a couple of idiots who went to the wrong place |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | But we failed them on the spot |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | And did everyone do well on the exam |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | since I'm such an amazing professor? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The average... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The average was a 62 |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Most people did not do well |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who got at, above, or slightly above the average please leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Son of a bitch! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | What the fuck is wrong with you people? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I give you all the fucking answers to the homework in recitation |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The clicker questions don't even count! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I spend 3 hours of my week teaching you |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | the wonders of genetics and you ungrateful assholes |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | don't even fucking do well on the exam! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Mendel must be rolling in his grave because of you dumbasses! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But mein Führer the exam was really tricky and there were questions in there.. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | THEY WERE NO MOTHER FUCKING TRICKS ON THERE! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Führer, there were some things on there we never learned... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I bet you don't even know what a gene is! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | How did you even get into Hopkins? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I swear the standards here have been going down |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Ever since they switched to Bon Appétit |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | The food has been a bit better but the students have gotten more stupid! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Top Ten School my ass! You fuckers don't deserve that ranking! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Back in my day we did six factor crosses in our sleep |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And you motherfuckers can't even do a Punnett Square |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Get the fuck out of my class! I hope you all drop! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Thank God I'm tenured so I can say all this |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | You bastards give me chest cancer with your test scores |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | This is too much to handle |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | God fucking damnit |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And I didn't even see any of YOU in office hours! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I sit there in my office every fucking time waiting for you bitches |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And it's always the same Asian overachievers who see me |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I'm so sick of their questions that don't have anything to do |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | with what I am even teaching! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, at least he knows we're smart from our questions |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I should retire next year |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Maybe Cunningham can teach you idiots something |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I'm so done |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I'll post the MAX later today |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Put a spam filter on my email so students don't contact me |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | And tell them to send all regrade requests to Fisher |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'm so fucking done |
