00:00 - 00:04 | Well it took 2 weeks for Pitser to get off his lazy butt, |
00:04 - 00:06 | But the results of the NCAA basketball pool are finally here. |
00:06 - 00:08 | We're planning a big parade to honor the winner. |
00:08 - 00:09 | We're planning a big parade to honor the winner. |
00:09 - 00:12 | And the winnings are so enormous |
00:12 - 00:15 | We'll have to make deposits at every Wells Fargo in Berlin. |
00:17 - 00:19 | Excellent. I want to ride in Fred's Audi |
00:20 - 00:22 | In the back seat, with Barb and Debbie. |
00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer, |
00:27 - 00:28 | Sheri... |
00:31 - 00:33 | Sheri Gorbey won the Pool. You picked the Tar Heels, remember? |
00:34 - 00:37 | You don't get to ride in Fred's car. |
00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who has ever won the Pool, or has been for a ride in Fred's fancy piece of crap, leave immediately. |
01:13 - 01:15 | How come I never win the pool??? |
01:15 - 01:17 | This was supposed to be the year I won the Pool! |
01:18 - 01:23 | I even copied the bracket of that jackass in the White House! |
01:25 - 01:30 | And friggin' Patterson told me UNC was a sure thing - he's toast! |
01:30 - 01:31 | Don't cry Cindy, you can have Jim's office. |
01:32 - 01:34 | Even my buddy Coach K picked the Heels to win it all. |
01:34 - 01:37 | And I don't want to hear any excuses about Henson's wrist or Marshall's ankle! |
01:37 - 01:40 | Roy Williams still had the referees in his pocket! |
01:40 - 01:42 | But sir, you still beat Megan Dunbar! |
01:42 - 01:46 | Megan Dunbar is a stupid child and she finished in last place! |
01:46 - 01:48 | Yes, but you beat lots of others too! |
01:48 - 01:52 | Don't humor me! I saw that list of losers and they're all IMBECILES! |
01:53 - 01:54 | A monkey could have beaten those idiots! |
01:56 - 02:03 | How hard is it to beat Debbie Duniec? Her three brackets placed 60th, 73rd and 74th...out of 80! |
02:04 - 02:06 | So I beat Margaret Leach and her stupid dog. |
02:06 - 02:08 | Oh, and I beat "Boy Genius" Wilson again - big deal, he always loses! |
02:08 - 02:11 | And the Ashenbrenners?? They always come close but they're from Iowa... |
02:11 - 02:13 | They wouldn't know a basketball from a bowling ball!! |
02:13 - 02:16 | How in the HELL does that moron Sheri Gorbey deserve to win this year??? |
02:17 - 02:23 | She's so stupid, her other bracket had the least number of correct picks of anybody! |
02:27 - 02:29 | She only won because she picked Norfolk State over Missouri... |
02:30 - 02:34 | But she admitted it was an accident. A freaking ACCIDENT!!! |
02:34 - 02:36 | Losing to her is total humiliation. |
02:41 - 02:42 | She calls herself "Secretary of FECAL Compliance". |
02:43 - 02:47 | Well that just makes me feel like one great big fat stinking turd! |
02:48 - 02:53 | At least I beat Pitser with his family of dopes and his ridiculous alias... |
02:54 - 02:56 | He calls himself "Sofa King". Get it??? |
02:56 - 02:59 | He's the Sofa King because he's "Sofa-King" Stupid!! |
03:00 - 03:03 | And then Vanessa Spencer won 2nd place without even picking an upset! |
03:04 - 03:09 | I told you the Pool wasn't that hard. Even JJ won it once. |
03:14 - 03:18 | And now Zeller, Henson, Marshall, Barnes, all gone... |
03:19 - 03:23 | Well I suppose there is one thing I can take consolation in. |
03:25 - 03:26 | Fred gave me a tip... |
03:31 - 03:33 | Pick Lehigh to beat Duke... |
03:40 - 03:46 | And I would get a whopping raise, a big promotion, and use of the condo in Vail. |
03:46 - 03:49 | So I sucked up and picked Lehigh... |
03:53 - 03:56 | And now I'm head of Property Management. |