| 00:00 - 00:03 | My leader, the fantasy football season |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | is already in full swing |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The Sable Champion has already played |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | the league first loser, Lachlan Pryor. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Much to everyone's delight Fourth and Lynches beat Nick. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Yes, Sed Quis Nicolaum. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | And all the first round picks are playing well and healthy, I take it? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Leader, Dez Bryant is out with a foot injury. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | As is Tony Romo, Drew Brees and Eddie Lacy. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | And Andrew Luck and DeMarco Murray are playing terribly also. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Marshawn Lynch is playing like a rookie too. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Can everyone with a 2-0 record please leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I'm sick of fantasy football! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | All the players who are meant to play well are playing like shit! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Can you believe that we play this to have fun! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Fun my ass! This causes me nothing but stress, heartbreak and grey hairs! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | You have a player who is predicted to well and they lay a donut! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Meanwhile someone else on their team sits on your bench and scores above 15 points! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And Nick Ditter, how the hell is he doing so well! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I thought we agreed that he would not go back-to-back?! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My leader, the Commissioner has done everything he can. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | The Commissioner is a great man, do not mistake me. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | I know, all hail the Commissioner. However, what shall we do to stop Nick? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I don't care if you have to cut his brake lines, he must score below 100 points this week. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's a total crapshoot! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | And how about Theo whinging about the power rankings? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Maybe he should spend more time worrying about his team's performance. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Although, his logo and team abbreviation are shit too. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | How is it so difficult for him to post a bloody meme or read more than 100 words? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Is he a technological retard? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | It's like he wants everyone in this league to make fun of him! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | The only thing worse than those two is the prospect of Harsh Harry winning the sacred Sable again. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I guess it is the start of the season... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | But even so, this conduct is inexcusable! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | You draft a player and they get injured in the first two weeks? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | How the hell is this fun?!?! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I don't sleep on Sunday night anymore. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | My life revolves around my fantasy football app, |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | and my marriage is subsequently on the rocks. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | The only thing that could make that worthwhile would be to win the Sable myself. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | But no, instead I have to post 30 points less than predicted each week |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | and put up with Ben leaving his name as Flex Your Russells |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Does he not understand that he traded away his namesake. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | At least he is still confused that his team is not playing well, despite them being 'so good' |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | He truly is a moron. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I cannot wait until he wins the Bostick this year. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I really want to shoot an egg up into his asshole. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Even though he'll probably enjoy it. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Sed Quis Nicolaum. |
