| 00:00 - 00:03 | So, senior partner, I suggest we redraw |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | the practice boundary map with a |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | little circle around each nursing home |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | thus excluding the complex geriatrics. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Let the high-demand crumblies register at Westgate. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Circles, I like it. How many |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | applicants for our partnership vacancy? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Approximately... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | bugger all... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We had one applicant but he |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | went to a job in Wagga Wagga, Australia. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone except the partners leave this room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I don't fucking believe it! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I hope he gets bitten by a redback |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | when he's sitting on the dunny. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Why is everyone quitting GP? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Just because the Daily Mail says we're crap, |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | we've had a 14% real terms pay cut, |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | CQC inspections, GMC over-regulation, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Is that a reason to quit? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We tried to bribe him with a RCGP colouring book |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | The sodding Australians are offering £250K and better cricket |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | I told him Jeremy Hunt will fix things |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Hunt? He needs more than this rectal thermometer shoved up him |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I'd like to give him a colonoscopy |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | with a flamethrower |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | but his pants are already on fire |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Why is he pissing off the junior doctors? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Does he have shares in fucking Qantas? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | He's the biggest disaster to hit the NHS |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | since the time I mistook capsaicin cream for KY jelly. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | He promised us 5000 more GPs but he's purging us like Stalin |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | We can't even get a nurse practitioner |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | because he scrapped nursing bursaries |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | and as for nurses from the EU, forget it. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | We're buggered. We'll have to fold. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Twenty years I've slaved in this practice. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | My patient feedback is good...maybe just a trifle authoritarian... |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | That's it then. We go under |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and the Board can try and run the place |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | with locums on £830 a day |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | The partners will sell their houses to pay you redundancy. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I wish I'd been a dentist |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | 7 hour days and a quick minor op |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | earns you £2K |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | instead of £40. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I give up. Phone the visa section at Australia House and the Qantas ticket office |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and get me some sun cream |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | and make sure it's not capsaicin. |
