So, senior partner, I suggest we redraw
the practice boundary map with a
little circle around each nursing home
thus excluding the complex geriatrics.
Let the high-demand crumblies register at Westgate.
Circles, I like it. How many
applicants for our partnership vacancy?
We had one applicant but he
went to a job in Wagga Wagga, Australia.
Everyone except the partners leave this room.
I don't fucking believe it!
I hope he gets bitten by a redback
when he's sitting on the dunny.
Why is everyone quitting GP?
Just because the Daily Mail says we're crap,
we've had a 14% real terms pay cut,
CQC inspections, GMC over-regulation,
Is that a reason to quit?
We tried to bribe him with a RCGP colouring book
The sodding Australians are offering £250K and better cricket
I told him Jeremy Hunt will fix things
Hunt? He needs more than this rectal thermometer shoved up him
I'd like to give him a colonoscopy
with a flamethrower
but his pants are already on fire
Why is he pissing off the junior doctors?
Does he have shares in fucking Qantas?
He's the biggest disaster to hit the NHS
since the time I mistook capsaicin cream for KY jelly.
He promised us 5000 more GPs but he's purging us like Stalin
We can't even get a nurse practitioner
because he scrapped nursing bursaries
and as for nurses from the EU, forget it.
We're buggered. We'll have to fold.
Twenty years I've slaved in this practice.
My patient feedback is good...maybe just a trifle authoritarian...
That's it then. We go under
and the Board can try and run the place
with locums on £830 a day
The partners will sell their houses to pay you redundancy.
I wish I'd been a dentist
7 hour days and a quick minor op
earns you £2K
instead of £40.
I give up. Phone the visa section at Australia House and the Qantas ticket office
and get me some sun cream
and make sure it's not capsaicin.