| 00:00 - 00:03 | We'll stop at the Woodthorpe for 1 pint |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | when we finally get served.. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and then walk down here to the Friendship |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | It's a Friday night so it should be empty |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Goering will go to the bar and order 8 pints |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Just hope nobody recognises me |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and I'm not drinking Holts bitter. Get me a pint of Crystal |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuehrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | There's... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | been a phone call.... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Mary wants you to pick up Jack and Lucky |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who's got a cat, Get out now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell are they thinking? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Why now? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The Russians are attacking Berlin! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | What about Alison and Ian? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Don't take the piss. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Why not Rory or Declan? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Probably playing in a charity match at the fucking Bernabeu |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And Sinead only looks after rabbits! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, could Mel and Rob? |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Mel and Rob? Two words - Golf and Salford Royal |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, they are only border collies |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Border collies!! Jack is a border collie!! Jack is a border reindeer |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's the barking, every inch of the way home |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | and if there's a bottleneck at Moor Lane! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | It can be ten minutes of Jack barking right into your ear |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and all this on a Sunday morning with a Holts hangover? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Are you kidding me? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I didn't mind Bilbo and Sam - good company |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | and Tiger - that Tiger could drive himself home |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | but psycho Jack with his paws on my shoulders.... |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | This is why Paul moved to Llandudno! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I don't know why they go on holiday... |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | How can they still get insurance? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | If Mary shook hands with the Queen, she would break a finger. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I would ask that Glenys to do it |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | but she never picks up the phone. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | and she's gone to the cat side. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I could have won this war... |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Last time I picked them up, we lost Stalingrad |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | I know you and Lucky have the same hairdresser |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Very well. I will do it |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I want earplugs and a helmet |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I want an armed escort |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Driving down that cobbled road at 3 miles an hour. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Parachute dog biscuits along the route |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I wonder if Mrs Castle is single? |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Maybe I could move in with her. |
