| 00:01 - 00:07 | Great News, finally a hero for Romania's proletariat: Prince Radu Duda has seized power in Romania!!! |
| 00:08 - 00:13 | Not since President Ceausescu retired to North Korea in 1989 has Romania been ruled by a Working Class Hero with such giant balls of Steel |
| 00:14 - 00:18 | I plan to wear this pink Korean kimono when he visits Pyongyang |
| 00:19 - 00:20 | And I'm planning to make his toes curl up when I visit his hotel. |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | Because I'm lookin for a ticket out of this hell-hole of a country. |
| 00:24 - 00:30 | And let's just say that I think I can get Radu-lei's engine primed by blowing his socks off! |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | Meanwhile, another Romanian has been arrested here. |
| 00:36 - 00:38 | His name is John Florescu and he claims to be related to Prince Dracula |
| 00:39 - 00:42 | He is now in jail impaling mice and rats he caught there. |
| 00:43 - 00:46 | He is charged with exposing himself to a statue of Kim Jong-Il |
| 00:46 - 00:49 | The penalty for his crime is castration |
| 00:49 - 00:52 | But, I think he should be impaled like Dracula |
