| 00:00 - 00:03 | Dirk Steel and Colin have our entire Army surrounded |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They are in all round the fence |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Blocking any reinforcements from entering |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Our only hope is to escape through here at nightfall |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and attack their back doors |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Why can't we just attack ? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | There is only two of them |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Dirk Steel.... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Dirk Steel is speshul forces by the way |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And so is his stupid dog Colin |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Leave this room if Dirk Steel has smashed in your back doors |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Dirk is Speshul Forces? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How come he never mentions it? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You were supposed to keep him in the Tortured Rabbit Pub |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Feed him cake and beer |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | All speshul forces like that |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | They fucking love cake |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Now he's got us surrounded |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And Colin, that stupid fucking dog! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Dirk and Colin are both speshul forces |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | So you keep saying. but Dirk NEVER mentions it |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | That's because he's speshul forces |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | He's probably a Walter Mitty |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | The fat Bastard! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Just because he has a salt course |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | in his mum's back garden |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | doesn't make him speshul forces |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I've seen him in his dad's wellies |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | running up Penny Farthing carrying two Turnips |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | while eating two fucking cakes! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And Colin has been demoted 7 times for being drunk |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And he is illiterate |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | He can't even spell Mount kilamanjaro. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | He calls it Kill a Mandingo |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | He's fat and stupid |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And he and Colin are winning the fucking war |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Why didn't anyone mention Dirk Steel was speshul forces? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | He kicked us out of the Sahara rain forests |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Then we lost the Falkland jungles to him |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Everywhere he goes he wins |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Dirk Steel is speshul forces by the way.. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I wanted to be speshul forces |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | But i lost a welly on top of penny Farthing |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | RTU'd |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Back to the RAF Regimentals |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | The Beatniks and Parrots were all laughing at me |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Come stand toe to toe with us they joked |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Damn you Dirk Steel and Colin |
