| 00:00 - 00:03 | We'll get taxis for 30 from ours into town |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Get off at Stone Roses for some trebles |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Then on to Dusk for 2-4-1 cocktails |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | It's fine if you don't have a partner, the cocktails are so cheap you can do two at a time |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And when we're smashed we'll go Vodka Revs with our Q-Jump wristbands. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Perfect. And then we can go Willow around 2am. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | The queue will have died down. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | BNOC |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Willow... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Willow is closed for realsies this time. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Tommy Fong is retiring and they're not renewing the lease. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Get out if you don't know all the words to Africa, Teenage DIrtbag, Blank Space and Call Me Maybe. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck is this!!! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Am I supposed to believe this isn't a joke for once! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I need somewhere to get absolutely smashed and it's not going to be in Vodka fucking Revs! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | It's £2 for a single vodka coke for fuck's sake! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | £2! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | That's Willow entry before midnight on a weekday |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | They can fuck their shitty bar I need my cheesy music! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | They say Willow is closing every month it's a lie |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir they're not joking this time have you not checked twitter? |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Find out which fucker is lying to us! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir it was confirmed on Facebook by the WIllow DJ. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | And you're going to fucking believe the Willow DJ! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | How many times? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | How many times have you requested a song and he says yes?! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Only for him to put on Shake It Off for the sixth time that night! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I wanted you to play Beyonce you fucker! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I'll lick the prawn crackers before I believe the Willow DJ |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Tell me what we're supposed to do without Willow now, where will we go? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Am I supposed to go to Kuda! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | The main dancefloor is shit, if you're there for two minutes you get elbowed in the face! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | But Willow... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | It is the lifeblood of a night out, the pinnacle of York nightlife |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Makes me tingle in my testicle |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Tommy Fong |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | How could you do this to us! Did we not buy enough £1 shots? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I admit it, I've pissed on the floor in the toilets but haven't we all? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And now I'm going to have to go to Oke's sober |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Have you ever tasted an Oke's kebab sober? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | It tastes like horse sweat! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Most people just get cheesy chips anyway |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I loved that place |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I just don't know what music I'm going to have to listen to now |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | House? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The Willow is gone |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | York nightlife has never suffered a blow like this. We must keep the legend alive, tell the freshers. Tell them what happened here. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | It will not die with us. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Pre's are gonna have to be fucking amazing |
