| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sunday lunch is nearly ready. Your greatest triumph. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Veggies from Hawkes Bay |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Roast Beef from the Taranaki |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and Mrs Himmler is bringing her famous Yorkshire pud |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Last summers barbeque fiasco will be forgotten forever |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | True. Men CAN cook |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | It is my divine right |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The beef |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | the beef has burnt |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | it's completely ruined |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who advised me to follow Ransay's recipe leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What do you mean, the beef is ruined? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | You three told me Ramsay was infallible |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Sunday roast in six easy steps, you said |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Even Churchill could it, you promised |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | The leaders of the 3rd Reich will be here in 20 minutes |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | and now you tell me the beef is fucked beyond redemption? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | This is worse than Fawlty Towers |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I'll be a laughing stock in the bunker |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But, my Fuhrer, you could serve the meal as a vegetarian option |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Do I look like a tree hugger? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Lauraine Jacobs has several in her new book |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Lauraine Jacobs is a woman |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | despite her appearance |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Men cook roasts |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and beef is the most manly of all |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | my gravy would have been perfect |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | My mothers secret recipe, a work of genius |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I should never have listened to you |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I should have stuck with my plan to cook chicken |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | it would be harder to invade Britain |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | than to ruin roast chook |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | No wonder Stalin serves it every time |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And Mussolini |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | his peas are very good too |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | but I'll be famous for burnt cow |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | OK with toast or eggs, they'll say |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | but out of his depth |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | with a Sunday roast |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | those bastards |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry Eva, you can always whip up some bacon sarnies |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I'll never make it to celebrity Masterchef now |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Simon Gault and Ray Mcvinnie will unfriend me |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | on Facebook |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We'll have to delay them with canapes |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Can some one nip down to Countdown and see if they can get |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | two Tegel ready to roast chickens. Even I |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | can't fuck that up |
