| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, we have a problem at the Oregon City High School Dance |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | So far, there have been reports of bumping and grinding from the dance floor |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | From what we can tell, West Linn and Lake Oswego are having the same problem |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | but beyond that, it's not clear what sexual maneuvers are being used |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Get a hold of their principals. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | they'll fix the problem. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Nancy... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Nancy Bush-Lange already warned them to neither grind nor bump. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | She announced during thursday morning news...everyone laughed. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Whoever laughed and then proceeded to do the sexy dance...get the hell out |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell are they thinking? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Don't they know how many girls get pregnant each year from grinding...MILLIONS |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | It's all fun and games until you get a prom night dumpster baby!! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Its not even DANCING!! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | the girls look like slutty slut McSLUTS!!! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And the boys look like retarded apes!! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | All Jersey Whore wannabees!!! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | They make Snooki look like the Virgin Mary! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, perhaps if the girls didn't wear such tight pants |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Is that any excuse, the boys need to keep it in their pants!!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, they DO keep it in their pants, it just rubs against the denim, |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Bullshit! That hurts like hell, who would want to get a rug burn for fun!?!? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | THEY"RE ALL HAVING SEX!! ITS ONE BIG ORGY! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | and don't even THINK about using that gym afterwards! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | It's more slippery than an Amsterdam whorehouse!! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I blame LMFAO with their Sexy and I know it! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And their Champagne Showers..more like Semen Showers!! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | JIZZ JIZZ JIZZ JIZZ JIZZ...EVERYWHERE!!! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Sadie Hawkins is about RESPECT for the ladies!! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Instead they turn it into the Village Bicycle Dance...everyone gets a ride!!! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Sometimes i wonder what it would be like to grind |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | No girls wants to bump with ME!! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Oh NO, not poor Adolph..no one wants the kid with the funny porn mustache! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | What next... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | The kids will all start making their parties in front of Haggen's?!?! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | You have to be assertive with these horny little bastards!! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | You can't ask politley!! You need to go in there with flashlights and weed out the whores!!! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and if the douches still dont listen?!?! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | JUST TAKE AWAY PROM!!! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Anna, theres always The Annex. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | They won the battle...but... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | atleast oregon city still enforces dress code. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | From what I hear, yoga pants... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | yoga pants aren't allowed. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I hear they made a new dance called "The Bush-Lange". |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | It's supposed to be better than the shuffle and the bernie combined. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Get my dance trainer in here...i need to practice. |
