| 00:00 - 00:03 | The agrics were in park bar again. The ring leader was Grifthis, again. |
| 00:03 - 00:08 | caption text here |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They were at the bar here |
| 00:05 - 00:10 | caption text here |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | From what we can tell, they spilt alot of drinks |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | but beyond that, it's not clear what they did. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Use the CCTV to find out what they did. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Then ban them all anyway |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Vice Chairman |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | They... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They were penis sword fighting |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The one they call Gobber had his out all night, |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All culprits remain in the room. Gobber, Grithis, Hanmer, and Mayo. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell were you thinking? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Penis sword fighting is despicable |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Spilling drinks on the floor and on staff is a different matter |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Gobber half the university has seen your cock |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Its average, at best |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Look what happened at the transportation social |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You fucked shit up, and still this happens |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Sheep asking to be led to the slaughter |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mr Chairman its harsh to say my cock is average at best |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I dont care what you think you pleb |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mr Chairman have you actually seen it? Bet you haven't |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Well no but i have been told by many distressed woman |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I wont have it |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The same shit as usual |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | What happened to a couple of quiet beers |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | followed by a quick game of twiddleiwinks before bed? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Take example of Turpin. He has 1, then goes and wanks for 2 hours |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Or even Peck, he gives up time with the lads to run off with the love of his life |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | its fucking gay but he stays out of trouble |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | you lot are as bad for this uni as Russia was with Stalin |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I should get rid of you all now |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | but i am just going to bang my chest like a gorilla instead |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | cause i have bigger problems |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | herpes is one |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | but i cant have you all doing this again, casue i am about to shit a chicken, and that hurts. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | why cant you just vent your stress out on taking the piss out of blain and peck |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | They're always running off with their fucking girlfriends |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Bubbles and Charlotte have got them trained up like fucking dogs |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Blain never stops talking about shagging |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Its ok Charlotte, Peck cant be that bad in bed |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I am gunna have to fine you again |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | The quidditch team are demanding more funding |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Fucking broomsticks are expensive |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | £500 each. Jack, you are expelled. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I am sorry mate, but i just cant stand you |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and lets be honest you had this coming |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | You are just such a cunt |
