00:00 - 00:03The press has been calling.
00:04 - 00:05Children were mauled in roadside zoos here,
00:05 - 00:07here, and here.
00:08 - 00:12We could send out our fact sheet,
00:12 - 00:15but a press release should be fresh and new.
00:17 - 00:19Get Monica to write something.
00:19 - 00:21I'll sign my name on it.
00:24 - 00:26Sir...
00:27 - 00:28Monica...
00:31 - 00:33Monica quit. She left this morning.
00:34 - 00:36She was dancing and singing.
00:53 - 00:58Everyone who adopted a kitten from Monica, get out.
01:13 - 01:15What the fuck happens now?
01:15 - 01:17The board needs a status report!
01:18 - 01:23I need to take credit for her work to keep them off my back!
01:25 - 01:28That is how great leaders operate.
01:29 - 01:31We were such a team!
01:31 - 01:34I get all my great ideas after she emails me.
01:34 - 01:37Sure, they are her ideas first,
01:37 - 01:40but my micromanagement makes them incredible!
01:40 - 01:42Sir, she calls you a douchebag.
01:42 - 01:46That's a term of endearment! She got it from my daughter!
01:46 - 01:48Sir, all she wanted was a new title.
01:48 - 01:52Oh I'll give her a fucking title!
01:53 - 01:54"Queen of Betrayal!"
01:56 - 01:57No, wait, that was the last girl...
01:57 - 02:00"Driving Pain In My Ass!"
02:00 - 02:03How's that for a fucking title?
02:04 - 02:08Does she think she'll be happy now?
02:08 - 02:13Pretending to work from home isn't easy, I would know,
02:14 - 02:16cuz I've been there, mister.
02:17 - 02:21And there's nobody to bring you coffee. Nobody!
02:27 - 02:29But she'll find out.
02:30 - 02:34She'll be lost without my leadership,
02:34 - 02:36without my motivational skills!
02:41 - 02:42I should never hire women.
02:43 - 02:47This is a man's world, goddammit, even for short men!
02:48 - 02:53Doesn't a nut sack count for anything anymore?
02:54 - 02:56You think I'm out of touch,
02:56 - 02:59but I know you call me "Micro Man".
03:00 - 03:02I hire office spies, goddammit!
03:04 - 03:07It's ok, we knew it was you.
03:14 - 03:16I'll write my own goddamn press release.
03:19 - 03:23It will be perfectly crafted.
03:25 - 03:26My name only.
03:31 - 03:33In all capital letters.
03:40 - 03:46Look for her replacement in the Program Assistant applications
03:46 - 03:49but don't tell anybody.
03:53 - 03:56I'll Skype them from D.C.