| 00:00 - 00:03 | The press has been calling. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Children were mauled in roadside zoos here, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We could send out our fact sheet, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | but a press release should be fresh and new. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Get Monica to write something. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I'll sign my name on it. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Monica... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Monica quit. She left this morning. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | She was dancing and singing. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who adopted a kitten from Monica, get out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck happens now? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | The board needs a status report! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I need to take credit for her work to keep them off my back! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | That is how great leaders operate. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | We were such a team! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I get all my great ideas after she emails me. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Sure, they are her ideas first, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | but my micromanagement makes them incredible! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, she calls you a douchebag. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | That's a term of endearment! She got it from my daughter! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, all she wanted was a new title. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Oh I'll give her a fucking title! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | "Queen of Betrayal!" |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | No, wait, that was the last girl... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | "Driving Pain In My Ass!" |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | How's that for a fucking title? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Does she think she'll be happy now? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Pretending to work from home isn't easy, I would know, |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | cuz I've been there, mister. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And there's nobody to bring you coffee. Nobody! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | But she'll find out. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | She'll be lost without my leadership, |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | without my motivational skills! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I should never hire women. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | This is a man's world, goddammit, even for short men! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Doesn't a nut sack count for anything anymore? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | You think I'm out of touch, |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | but I know you call me "Micro Man". |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I hire office spies, goddammit! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, we knew it was you. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I'll write my own goddamn press release. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | It will be perfectly crafted. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | My name only. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | In all capital letters. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Look for her replacement in the Program Assistant applications |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | but don't tell anybody. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'll Skype them from D.C. |
