| 00:00 - 00:03 | The draft will take place on August 29th |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We're going to have it at Buffalo |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Wild Wings on the South Side. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Dr Goebbels says he will bring his |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | entry fee and buy the first round. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Let's make sure we get Tom Brady early. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | He did well last year. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Furher |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Tom Brady was... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Tom Brady was suspended for the first four games. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And the Patriots were fined $1 million. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who doesn't like Tom Brady needs to leave right now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | FOUR FREAKING GAMES?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | HOW COULD GODDELL ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | He only gave Ray Rice two games for dogging his wife in that elevator! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | All Brady did was have soft balls! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Soft balls aren't a crime, are they?! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Every single year our team gets screwed! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Josh Gordon... Adrian Peterson... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Please tell me they punished Belechick! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Bill Belechick was cleared of all wrongdoing... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | That sweater-wearing moron gets away with everything! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But they lost a first round draft pick... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | "But they lost a first round draft pick." |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Who freaking cares?! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They'll just draft another murderer anyway! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | At least Aaron Hernandez will be able to |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | play in the prison leagues! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Brady will only get to sit on the bench for four weeks, |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | and every Sunday they'll say, "if only Tom Brady had gone |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | and properly inflated his balls!" |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | His balls will be the laughing stock of the NFL! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | He scored us 47 points in Week 12 |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | you can't make up that many points each week. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | We can't come in 8th place again... |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I want you to send a message to the league... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | "The loss of Brady's balls will not stop our advance!" |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | "All of you shall feel the stiffness of our resolve!" |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And then find me a new QB, |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | preferably one who won't be suspended! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | SO DON'T DRAFT JAMEIS WINSTON! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK. Tom Brady will get his balls back. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Remember when we had to trade him, |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | for that guy that boosted underwear from Dillard's? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | That sucked. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | You guys can't let that happen again. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We clearly can't depend on our balls to save our season. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Suspended for four freaking games. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Worst punishment ever. |
