00:00 - 00:03The Lust Experience will begin with an ARG
00:04 - 00:05involving Noah Sinclair and his seminar
00:05 - 00:07We'll do a road show in the countryside...
00:08 - 00:12Launch The Lust Experience in the suburbs
00:12 - 00:15With the finale in Berlin at Castle Count Chocula!
00:17 - 00:19LUST won't need a finale.
00:19 - 00:21The Tension Experience had no finale.
00:24 - 00:26Actually, sir...
00:27 - 00:28Special Emails were sent out and...
00:31 - 00:33There was a soul-crushing finale...
00:34 - 00:36Everyone died and Sabrina escaped. You missed it.
00:53 - 00:58Everyone who went to this "finale", get the fuck out of my sight.
01:13 - 01:15What the FUCK do you mean, "finale"?
01:15 - 01:17Nobody told me about any finale!
01:18 - 01:23Why no special dispensation for those of us there from the start?
01:25 - 01:28With that fucking cat-bear or whatever it was?
01:29 - 01:31I had my Periscope ping on, my Twitter ping on...
01:31 - 01:34My Emails were supposed to alert me to everything!
01:34 - 01:37I was completely invested in those people! They were like family to me!
01:37 - 01:40And NOW I hear there was a finale for the "special people"?
01:40 - 01:42Some people are more special than others. Darren and Clint...
01:42 - 01:46FUCK DARREN AND CLINT! They are manipulative dirtbags!
01:46 - 01:48Be that as it may, they thought the fans deserved closure.
01:48 - 01:52Are they batshit moondog crazy? I was their BIGGEST fan.
01:53 - 01:54More than Neil Patrick Harris ever was!
01:56 - 01:57For months I followed the odyssey of that young and pretty
01:57 - 02:00Swiss actress. Even though her country is neutral, I CARED about her.
02:00 - 02:03She wormed her way into my tiny cold heart and made me FEEL again.
02:04 - 02:08I had it all planned out. I would rescue her from that house of terror....
02:08 - 02:13I would dump Eva, and Sabrina and I would start our own theater company....
02:14 - 02:16And only do plays...in their original Swiss-German text!
02:17 - 02:21And finally, I could compete with those boring Chekov plays put on by Stalin.
02:27 - 02:29And all this, after my moment in the Red Room...
02:30 - 02:34Where those fucks got me to reveal my deepest, darkest secret.
02:34 - 02:36And my wet, salty tears turned that sand...to...mud.
02:41 - 02:42And now you tell me they're all dead? Do you know how much...
02:43 - 02:47I admired that guy Simon. He would've made a great Nazi.
02:48 - 02:53I'll never forget when Sadie asked me to save her. Or was it Sam?
02:54 - 02:56Shannon? Stephanie? Sophie? They did that on purpose.
02:56 - 02:59So I don't have a hip "podcast" or write for The Verge or have pretty red hair
03:00 - 03:02But that's no excuse to leave me out of the loop on this "finale"!
03:04 - 03:07It's alright. I missed it, too.
03:14 - 03:16Maybe it's for the best that they're dead.
03:19 - 03:23I liked OSDM's tactics. They had to come out on top. It was inevitable.
03:25 - 03:26Plus that means Samson is still alive.
03:31 - 03:33I wonder who ended up with Sabrina's red dress?
03:40 - 03:46At least I have LUST to look forward to. Maybe they'll give me a nude scene...
03:46 - 03:49With some doomed hottie in a bathtub filled with blood.
03:53 - 03:56At least they aren't sending out Emails for "chosen ones".