| 00:00 - 00:03 | I have to report, we have no internet again |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | I have looked on the map |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | And we are 1 mile from the exchange |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | There is no reason for it to be so slow |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | But they are laying fibre in the area right now |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Once we left Talk talk |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I was promised this wouldnt happen |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The Sky man |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The Sky man was only interested in the sale |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | the truth is he didn't give a fuck |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who has Fibre leave the room right now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I rang Technical support |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I was on hold for 40 fucking minutes |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The shit asked me if I had tried to restart my router |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I was put on hold twice |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | how dare they put me on hold |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | They fucking asked about micro filters |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Have you tried removing the socket from the wall and plugging the router |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Directly into the socket |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein fuhrer, only an idiot would ring before they had tried that |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Bastard, Pakis in a sweathole in calcutta |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein fuhrer, Plusnet only have british call centres |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Do you think a Jason Manford look alike is going to be any better? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | The Sky mans a liar |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | When you sign up they tell you |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | youll be downloading films till your hearts content |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | We will never throttle your connection |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Then the minute you start downloading overnight |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | They throttle your broadband and fucking disconnect you |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | The Avengers new film took forever |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I was knocked off poker 4 times in one session |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I just want 40 meg broadband |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Instant downloads at lightening speeds |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Playing poker with no interuptions |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Ring Sky back |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Tell them Im willing to do the 18 month contract if its half price for 6 months first |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Even though the new customers get a fucking M&S voucher |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But Im telling you this |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | The minute that fibers connected |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | They can stick their tv package up their arses |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Dont worry hes getting Kodi installed |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Kodi is much better anyway |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | At least the movies and sport are free |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It is ace |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | No pricks on the phone |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I need you to go on ebay and buy android boxes for all rooms |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | make sure their WiFi of course |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | We wont pay anymore |
