00:00 - 00:03 | They're going to have some in-person conversations though. |
00:04 - 00:05 | I think the Head of a few Divisions will meet with their teams. |
00:05 - 00:07 | Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing how many divisions or dept heads will do that. |
00:08 - 00:12 | We can't even guarantee... |
00:12 - 00:15 | ... that everyone hears the news on the right day. |
00:17 - 00:19 | Well, at least with post and DHL, |
00:19 - 00:21 | we know all the letters will go out on time. |
00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer... |
00:27 - 00:28 | It seems... |
00:31 - 00:33 | It seems that DHL can only deliver a maximum of 2,000 letters per day. |
00:34 - 00:36 | And that's if they delivered our letters only. |
00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who thought we should send this news via a mailed letter, exit the room now. |
01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE F WERE YOU SMOKING?? |
01:15 - 01:17 | WHO READS LETTERS?? |
01:18 - 01:23 | I CAN BARELY BE BOTHERED TO READ AN ENTIRE TWEET! |
01:25 - 01:28 | I HAVEN'T EVEN READ A STREET SIGN SINCE 1993! |
01:29 - 01:31 | Who made this decision?? |
01:31 - 01:34 | It's common sense to deliver this type of news in person!! |
01:34 - 01:37 | Didn't any of you read the HBR thought leadership piece about delivering difficult news?? It said nothing about letters! |
01:37 - 01:40 | You've gotta be fucking kidding me!! |
01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer, maybe we can prepare managers with proper comms skills to talk to their teams after the letters go out. |
01:42 - 01:46 | WHY THE F WOULD WE DO THAT? |
01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, I don't think you're seeing the whole picture. |
01:48 - 01:52 | You fool! Who wants to fight traffic and come back into the office when they're on leave, effective IMMEDIATELY?? |
01:53 - 01:54 | Christ, how did we get into this mess! |
01:56 - 01:57 | I mean, seriously. WTF. |
01:57 - 02:00 | When was the last time anyone read anything? |
02:00 - 02:03 | And where the hell are we supposed to print all this shit? |
02:04 - 02:08 | Does anyone even know how many reams are needed for a million letters?? |
02:08 - 02:13 | There aren't enough printers in the world! |
02:14 - 02:16 | Thousands of letters, for Chrissakes! |
02:17 - 02:21 | How is it possible that you did not think this completely through?? |
02:27 - 02:29 | What was everyone going to do? Print a few thousand letters at their own desks? |
02:30 - 02:34 | Whatever happened to doing things the right way? |
02:34 - 02:36 | Aren't we a family? In this all together? |
02:41 - 02:42 | But no... |
02:43 - 02:47 | Our most important decision appears to have been made by three garden gnomes stacked in a trenchcoat! |
02:48 - 02:53 | Instead of doing the right thing and talking to people one on one... |
02:54 - 02:56 | we're sending letters like it's a fucking Allure magazine subscription renewal!! |
02:56 - 02:59 | Sure, it's not your fault that no one knows who's in charge, but someone is calling the shots. |
03:00 - 03:02 | AND SOMEBODY BETTER TELL ME WHO IT IS! |
03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay. Maybe you'll get garden leave. |
03:14 - 03:16 | I thought I could count on you to get your shit together. |
03:19 - 03:23 | I assumed you knew your ass from a hole in the ground. |
03:25 - 03:26 | But I guess not. |
03:31 - 03:33 | Major fail. |
03:40 - 03:48 | Now everyone's gonna be bitching about the message and the channel. |
03:53 - 03:54 | God, I hope I get garden leave. |