| 00:00 - 00:03 | We need to address |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | This problem we have in Central Denmark |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Cykelposten near Odense |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | has started selling custom bikes using frames from Cotic in the UK. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And they aren't even all that cheap! |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What is wrong with these stupid Danes? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | We invaded them in 1940. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer.. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | It is |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | It is worse yet |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Cotic frames are made of steel. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Right this is serious. All of you! Out! Except Keitel, Jodel and Krebs! |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Steel? You can't make bikes out of steel in this day and age? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Steel is an out-of-date material last used on the Penny Farthing! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | It's shit! It rusts and weighs a ton! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Only an idiot would make a frame from steel! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And the customer can even choose what parts to put on it? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Is this exiled Yorkshireman out of his tiny mind? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | His shop has no future! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | But the BFE is sold out till June! They must be onto something! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | It's a 26" wheeled relic! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Why would anyone but an idiot want such a thing? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But it's the most popular MTB at this shop right now! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I don't care! We need to sell those Dansih morons |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | bikes made of plastic! Ones that will break! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | How will we sell them a new bike next year if the old one doesn't break? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Didn't ANY of you go to Copenhagen Business School? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | We need to sell them something they will want to upgrade in a year's time! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | How is this idiot going to keep the customer coming back? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | These upstarts at Cotic in Sheffield don't even admit that Sheffield is in South Yorkshire! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | They think they are from Derbyshire! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Yorkshire is too good for those bastards! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | They can't even decide if they want to make mountain bikes or all-day rough road bikes with stupid closed fork ends! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | They think they can do both!!! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | What is wrong with them? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Everyone knows that Surly and Salsa have a monopoly on all-day rough bikes! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Wasn't it enough for Cotic to make the most fun hardtail on the market? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Even though it has 26" wheels when nobody else wants them any more? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | 29" wheels are what the stupid masses are supposed to want nowadays! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | How else are bike shops meant to sell people new front wheels if their |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | 26" front wheels never ever break? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK Gerda- you can get a 26" BFE in medium in a few months. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | This is just not on! |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Our bikes that are so much better than "American" made-in-Taiwan rubbish. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | We even face our headtubes and bottom bracket shells! |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Our suspension systems work! And we use better parts! |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We use proper bearings in our linkages. And give excellent custómer support! |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | It's hopeless... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Smart people just don't necessarily go for the cheapest option any more..... |
