| 00:00 - 00:03 | To start your day today, you have several jobs. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | A squirrel in an attic in Ozark, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | racoons in Nixa, moles destroying |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | a yard in Republic, bats in Branson, as well as |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | opossums getting into the kitchen at Tickles and Pickles. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I'll get that all taken care of after my photo shoot |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | with my Bench Madness trophy. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mr. Critter... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Nickname... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Nickname persuaded two judges and received |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | more votes in caller response, giving you second place. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | The following men will stay here: Kevin, Clint, Brad, Marty. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That was mine to win! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Nickname was going to be a pushover! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Who do you think you are giving Nickname the trophy AGAIN? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | So once again I lose to the champion! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | First, I go up against Dan Freaking Lucy! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I dominate him with my singing, yes? YES! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You would assume the greatest Bench Madness call |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | would be available on podcast. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Good morning, I'm Brad Voelker. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I told you to sell the Tebow Tracker! It's power broke the podcast! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | It's been on Craigslist for weeks. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I told you the resale value on that would be a fraction of what we paid! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Can't even sell that in Florida! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The next round pit me vs. Poto. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | A former champion of Bench Madness |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and I spend hours of research to take him down |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | with Mt. Vernon memories that hit him right in the heart! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I was no longer a Cinderella story, but a Bench Madness stalwart! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Competitors FEARED me! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I followed the only rule there was. 90 seconds! I should have went 3 minutes like Raider Frank! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I never beat anyone before this year. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | This year I invented "Benchiness". |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | This was supposed to be MY year. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | MY trophy. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I then was paired with Happy Harry, while Nickname rolled though his bracket! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Happy Harry was a favorite of the judges, coming to us from baseball Heaven. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Once again, I came out on top! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Eddie predicted a victory for me with calls like that. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Then he missed the championship, for he was in a boat! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Ginger, I'm sure the squirrels will be ok. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Then Marty gave Nickname a different topic. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I outed Nickname, by revealing his real name. I figured that would score large. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I lost. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Thanks a lot, Brad. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Nickname used you, Brad to win your emotions and those of the callers. He changed his tone, |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | which was nothing new. He goes from Bill Caiaccio to Slappy all the time. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | He's not even your real father. |
