| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, we have completed our reconnaissance mission. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have picked up disturbing activity. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | It's coming from the Kern River area. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We've picked up the sound of bleating sheep and British motorcycles.. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | The smell of castor oil. Empty beer cans. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | This is disturbing but nothing we haven't dealt with before. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Probably just kids out having a good time. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We've found a crankshaft. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Sir, we have reason to believe... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The Tossers are back. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who is not a Hipster or Mod, please leave the room... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell are they thinking? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Do you have any idea how hard I've worked to be cool? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I've worked my ass off to buy wallet chains, $70 T-shirts, a fixed gear bike and skinny jeans! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Do you know how good it feels to have tight skinny jeans wrapped around your balls? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | You don't have any balls! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And all this talk about sheep. Oh God, how these vile Tossers love their farm animals! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Camping with their sex sheep! It's disgusting! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And all these loud fucking British motorcycles! How dare they think that this Brit Iron is better than my Vespa! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, but the women love them. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | That's no excuse! We have fashion magazines! Colorful bandanas! Pabst Blue Ribbon! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, they have rock & roll music... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | We have Depeche Mode & Starbucks Dammit! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Nothing is better than a skinny Latte! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Let me tell you something about tossing! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I have tossed my crank, many times! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I freakin' invented crank tossing! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Long before these Brit Iron Rebels arrived, I was the freakin' Toss-meister! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I tossed my crank more than any man alive. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | But that wasn't good enough for those bastards! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | All because I choose to throw a Vespa 2-stroke crankshaft. Thats right! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Those assholes laughed at me. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | How dare they laugh at me! The Toss-meister! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | How dare they think that size matters! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And what of this beer? |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | So what if Pabst Blue Ribbon is shitty beer! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | If I want to drink this Milwuakee piss-water, so be it! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Who do they think they're dealing with? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | You don't need fine ale or whiskey sours to be a man. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | All this tossing, drinking and sex sheep. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | The Tossers make my panties wet... |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | These damned Brit Iron Rebels. They've ruined everything. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | With their cafe racers, their cocky attitude, their large genitalia. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Even the Fez Monkeys respect them. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The damned rockers! |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | What kind of stupid motorcycle club calls themselves the Fez Monkeys? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I want you all to go out and buy me a latte and some KY. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | It looks like it's going to be a long weekend... |
