00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, regarding your trip to Italy |
00:04 - 00:06 | We found several places to choose from here in Florence |
00:07 - 00:10 | But we've just learned that Golden View near the Arno has closed |
00:11 - 00:15 | Unfortunately we'll have to pick another spot for Happy Hour |
00:17 - 00:21 | Yes, of course. Let's just go to that place I love...what's it called? |
00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer... |
00:27 - 00:28 | I'm sorry but... |
00:31 - 00:33 | Sir, that place is...Golden View |
00:33 - 00:36 | You tend to forget the name, but sir, they closed it down |
00:53 - 00:58 | OK, everyone who was nice enough to tag me in those pictures at the Duomo can leave now |
01:13 - 01:15 | It fucking CLOSED?!?! |
01:15 - 01:17 | They closed my favorite fucking bar?!? |
01:18 - 01:23 | Why the fuck did they give away so much free food anyway?!? |
01:25 - 01:28 | Those idiots never heard of mini corndogs? |
01:29 - 01:31 | Put out a bowl of chips and salsa! |
01:31 - 01:34 | You could feed that entire bar with Chex Mix! |
01:34 - 01:40 | Nobody needs to eat foie gras and lobster tail at the Grand View Bar anyway!!! |
01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, it's Golden View, not Grand... |
01:42 - 01:46 | Whatever! What a stupid fucking name anyway! |
01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, it refers to the golden bridge outside |
01:48 - 01:52 | It's a ridiculous name! No one can remember it!!! |
01:53 - 01:54 | And why is it in English?!? |
01:56 - 02:00 | If you can't remember the name of a place, how can you look it up? |
02:00 - 02:03 | Siri can't help you with THAT, can she?!? |
02:04 - 02:08 | That fucking bitch can't understand what I'm saying anyway! |
02:08 - 02:10 | Goddamn iPhone! |
02:11 - 02:16 | You can't even update the fucking software ... WITHOUT WI-FI?!? |
02:17 - 02:21 | What's the goddamn point of 4G if I have to be on wi-fi all the time? |
02:27 - 02:33 | Just like the time I couldn't download that movie 'Taken 2' with Liam Neeson |
02:34 - 02:36 | Now I'll never know if he got his daughter back |
02:41 - 02:45 | Stupid bitch got kidnapped again? What is her problem?!?! |
02:46 - 02:47 | ONCE maybe! But fuck! |
02:48 - 02:53 | Nobody gets kidnapped by the Turkish mob on TWO separate occasions!! |
02:53 - 02:56 | And why does that bartender use so many mother fucking garnishes?!? |
02:56 - 02:59 | Elaborate garnishes killed their business! |
02:59 - 03:03 | Most places just toss in a cherry or an olive. But NOT 'Beautiful View'! |
03:04 - 03:07 | He meant to say 'Golden View.' It's hard to remember sometimes. |
03:14 - 03:17 | Once that guy put an entire rose bush in my manhattan. |
03:19 - 03:23 | How was I to know that one day it would be the downfall of my favorite place? |
03:25 - 03:26 | But the legroom. |
03:31 - 03:33 | Did you think I would forget about the legroom? |
03:40 - 03:46 | Remember that charlie horse I had from sitting at that cramped bar all night? |
03:46 - 03:49 | Garden View is dead to me now. |
03:53 - 03:56 | Go get me some gelato. |