| 00:00 - 00:03 | Führer we have exciting news regarding the new Nazi website |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have appointed a web agency to provide all the bells and whistles... |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | ...located just outside Berlin called BMWWW |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The site will have a carousel, shoshkeles, and an animated logo |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and includes a viral social media campaign for South East Berlin |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | And has any thought been given to the user? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Use case planning? Task analysis? Even a few customer journey plans? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer, we |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | we |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We didn't think about the user |
| 00:34 - 00:38 | The web company had a lovely logo and a creative director with red trousers |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Jobs, Ives, Berners-Lee, Bezos, please leave |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | The user is in complete control |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Marketers ruin websites, you know that |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You've been listening to Gary Vaynerchuk podcasts again, haven't you? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | He's even worse than Tim Ferriss... |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | ...if you're looking for easy answers to difficult questions |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You should have been reading the Fathom blog at fathom.pro/blog |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Advertisers are only just more popular than hackers and criminals |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Loving user's a dirty job but somebody's gotta do it |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Führer, those red trousers were very compelling |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | We start with the user and work backwards |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Führer, his iPad Air cover was handmade and crocheted |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Next you're going to tell me he promised to get us to No 1 on Google |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | What is this, 1999? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We know the user isn't stupid any more |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | This isn't a TV campaign |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | They only give us their attention if we don't waste their time |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | This is the web ... interactive ... not presentational |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | It would have been easier... |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | ...if we had just gone the whole hog... |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | ...and got our advertising agency to build it |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | They could have screwed it up even more with less budget |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Instead we have more skinny jeans, awful plaid shirts |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Insufferable hipster haircuts |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And the horn-rimmed glasses |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Ah the haircuts, the thousands spent on personal grooming and slavish devotion to Apple products? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And their obsession with designer coffee |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Does anyone know the difference between an Ethiopian single origin |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and a blended Colombian Costa-Rican blend except Niall Harbison? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And have you ever seen Harbison's recruitment policy? |
| 03:04 - 03:08 | Don't worry, you're pretty enough for Niall to hire |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We should have commissioned stakeholder engagement |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Qualitative and quantitative research |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | User testing and surveys |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Anything at all to get inside the mind of the user |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But the chance is lost |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We'll become an online irrelevance... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | ...like so many before |
