00:00 - 00:03 | Chris we have taken a selectors vote |
00:04 - 00:05 | and after searching the whole of Dorset for any other Youth players to come and play for us |
00:05 - 00:07 | we have drawn a blank and have no other option |
00:08 - 00:12 | and have unanimously voted that the next Hampshire Youth Captain will be |
00:12 - 00:15 | Nathan 'Quality' Street. |
00:17 - 00:19 | I just went for a piss and you go and pick |
00:19 - 00:21 | The boy with the Gayest Haircut as the Hampshire Youth Captain |
00:24 - 00:26 | But with all due respect Chris |
00:27 - 00:28 | It was the obvious and only choice |
00:31 - 00:33 | He's an England International. |
00:34 - 00:36 | and like his dad he 'can be so good for you' |
00:53 - 00:58 | Traitors! Leave the room unless you're a selector |
01:13 - 01:15 | You Bastards! |
01:15 - 01:17 | We were meant to pick a player to lead this great County to continued success and you pick Carl Minter's Bitch. |
01:18 - 01:23 | The Sussex team will be laughing over at Roffeys |
01:25 - 01:28 | They'll be thinking they will finally win a match against us! |
01:29 - 01:31 | The hair gel saleslady outside has just gone out of business |
01:31 - 01:34 | Cause our constitution states the Captain's hair cannot make him look like a Bellend. |
01:34 - 01:37 | Sussex's Number One Phil Miles will eat him alive on stage, and so will The Scuttman he hits 170 Shots for fun |
01:37 - 01:40 | We need a leader not someone who will get Knuckles treatment from Gollums Son. |
01:40 - 01:42 | But he won the Gibraltar Youth Open title twice! |
01:42 - 01:46 | His only competition was the fucking monkeys that live on the Island none of the kids play Darts in Gibraltar! |
01:46 - 01:48 | Well who else in Hampshire was sponsored by Harrows? |
01:48 - 01:52 | He was only sponsored in an attempt for Surrey to try and boost numbers in their squad. |
01:53 - 01:54 | But even his 'Friend' didn't want him! |
01:56 - 01:57 | We've had past great Hampshire Captains and players like James Wade, Sam Head, Thomas Chant, Justin Bradshaw, Gemma Hayter, Sam Pike and I could go on... |
01:57 - 02:00 | and now we're supposed to add that bellend to the list of legends. |
02:00 - 02:03 | At least when Brad is captain his face scares the opposition when they're shaking his hand and they shit themselves and lose. |
02:04 - 02:08 | Even when George 'Powder Balls' Mayne was an hour late cause he didn't change his clocks forward he still managed to lead the team to Victory! |
02:08 - 02:13 | and then there was Maddog who got Shed to come and play before his Debut at Lakeside which won us the league! |
02:14 - 02:16 | Whats Nathan going to do get 'Super Eikes' to come out of retirement to play for Hampshire |
02:17 - 02:21 | That wont boost team morale thats what we need with the losses we suffer at the end of the season. |
02:27 - 02:29 | Liam had personality, Nathan wont play a reserve game at Berkshire |
02:30 - 02:34 | and hit the winning blind, beat his chest and take his top off and throw it into the crowd |
02:34 - 02:36 | Because hes worried about ruining his hair! |
02:41 - 02:42 | This year he lost a county game to Tyler Radlett! |
02:43 - 02:47 | and hit a 12 average and matched this personal best, I know I made a mistake in letting Tyler go play for Surrey. |
02:48 - 02:53 | We should have gave them 'Quality Street' instead! |
02:54 - 02:56 | I will never live that down, the young players we have like Dan, Chad, Jamie, Robbie, Will, Lewis and Austin Powers could have done with a proper quality |
02:56 - 02:59 | teammate like that Tyler that kid had swag in beating him at Hill Park |
03:00 - 03:02 | and he couldnt even reach to get the darts out of the board!! |
03:04 - 03:07 | Dont worry Josh we wont make you share a bed with him at Selsey again now you've got a Girlfriend. |
03:14 - 03:16 | You've all stabbed us in the back how will we compete next season? |
03:19 - 03:23 | I heard Ryan Rowe knocked someone up and we all know that means he wont be playing next season... |
03:25 - 03:26 | What if Nathan has to play at 8-8 against Sussex? |
03:31 - 03:33 | He'll bottle it and I might have to end it all like Hitler did. |
03:40 - 03:46 | We'd be better off putting Jedward on last, at least Jamie and Robbie wouldnt freak out about their hair and try to win the game! |
03:46 - 03:49 | Imagine Josh Langridge v Nathan Street, there's only one winner |
03:53 - 03:56 | RIP Hampshire Youth! |