| 00:00 - 00:03 | Here is a map of all the law schools you applied to. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They are dispersed within the city, located here, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | From what we gather tuition costs will be exorbitant, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | but beyond that, it's not clear whether traffic will be an issue or not. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | That's okay, I won't be going to law school, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I have decided to pursue an MA in Economics. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Comrade... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Rouben... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | You have been accepted to Loyola and Southwestern. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Both schools are offering sizeable scholarships. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who didn't suggest reapplying to law school, please leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Are you fucking kidding me?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | All this time, and they accept me as soon as I apply for an Economics degree?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And with generous fucking scholarships no less! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Why the fuck does this always happen to me? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Every fucking time! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And if I make the wrong move now it'll just end up being another regret! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | That's right, just another of Rouben's infamous regrets! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Just like my spectacular UCSB fuck-up! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Rouben, you were accepted to both UCSD and UC- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Shut the fuck up! You didn't even tell me Emin was going to UCSB! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Rouben, you still had the opportunity to attend UCSB. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Well isn't your hindsight twenty-fucking-twenty! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Now what the fuck am I supposed to do? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | As soon as I decide on what I'm going to do with my future: |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | "You know what, I think I will finally go for that Economics degree" |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But no, that's way too easy. Now they throw this shit at me! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | You have got to be fucking kidding me! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Why? What have I done to deserve this? Nothing can every come easy to me, nothing! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | All I ever wanted was to earn a doctorate in Political Science. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | But then I had the bright idea that a law degree would be more lucrative. I didn't even end up attending Loyola! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Now I have to play a fucking hand of end-game Durak. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | If only I could learn from history and accept my wretched fate. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Apparently the gods themselves are against me. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | This is too much. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | If only I had decided to pursue degrees like Biology or Computer Science! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Instead I ended up choosing an interest rather than a practical career path. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | They told me to "study what I loved". |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | What bullshit. Look at how that ended! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | The whole thing is a sham! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay Tamar, at least we have high-paying nursing degrees. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I can't even go to Cafe O anymore. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And I'll probably end up hating law school as well. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | "Study what you love" they said. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | And I was naive enough to believe it. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | All I ever wanted was to start a printing business at Woodbury. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Or even a tutoring agency. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Un-fucking-believable. |
