| 00:00 - 00:03 | Our knights have been monitoring /r/thebutton around the clock, sir. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Almost all of reddit has used their press, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and we have enough non-pressers left to wait out all the rest. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | According to our calculations, we can keep the counter going until there is no one left but us to press, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and we will be guaranteed to claim the final press for the Reich. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | So then I press the button, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and I will get my 1s flair, right? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | your laptop... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | You left your browser open and someone pressed your button. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Your flair is 59s. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone leave, except /u/keital, /u/jodl, /u/krebs, and /u/burgdorf. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I'm an early presser now? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | A fucking filthy purp?!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Just like all the rest of you impatient asshats out there! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Oh, you fucked it all up. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Orange, yellow, green, even blue! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Any of those would be better, I guess. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Still, they're all just useless shit! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I only ever wanted the red flair! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, you have other accounts. You can log in one of them and get the flair. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | My primary account! It must only be my primary account, you fool! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, but you will still be a red. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Those are fucking ancient throwaway accounts! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They're worthless! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Do you think I want my to get my prized flair on |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | /u/PmMeYourDick? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | You dirty early pressers are so utterly incompetent! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Your only objective was to deploy the Redguard knights |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | and make sure I get the last 1s press! And what do I get? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | The fucking worst flair in the entire sub! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I'd have been better off entrusting my only press to Stalin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I could have stayed in the Shade. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | At least theres some fucking dignity in that. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Remaining pure requires willpower, and sacrifice! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | But now... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | But now I just look like I click everything I see without even bothering to read the instructions! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | The non-pressers will lord this over me forever! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I don't even know what to do at this point... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I'm too ashamed to comment anymore in /r/thebutton. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Everyone will see my fucking weak-ass flair! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | We are not weak. 60s are the Chosen. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Even if I turn my flair off, it looks like I'm hiding. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And RES would find me out anyway. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | All is lost. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It must... be done. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I've had this account for over 6 years. I use it every. fucking. day. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | My only one with positive karma... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Delete my account. |
