| 00:00 - 00:03 | The EWA Sweet 16 is coming up soon |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Here, in Parkville, MD in Tall Cedars |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | It's this Saturday, March the 21st |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | All The matches will be a lethal lottery |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and there's a heavyweight title match |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Excellent, who is Shaun Cannon wrestling? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I missed the last show |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | .................... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ........................... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Shaun Cannon lost the title last show |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Matt Wylde is Champion, he's facing Blood |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who thinks Matt Wylde is large enough to hold the title, leave |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE FLYING FUCK! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | HE LOST? I MISS ONE SHOW, ONE SHOW! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | AND A MIDGET WINS THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE, A DAMN MIDGET! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | .......................... |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | HE'S SO TINY, HE'S NO HEAVYWEIGHT! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I HAVE TAKEN DUMPS BIGGER THAN HIM! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | MATT WYLDE DOES NOT HAVE THE SIZE |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | TO BE A HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Matt is a very skilled wrestler... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I DON'T CARE HOW GOOD HE IS, HE'S A DAMN GNOME! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | He's very accomplished.... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | HE IS AN ELF! A FREAKING GOBLIN, A LEPRECHAUN! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | HE SHOULD BE MAKING TOYS |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | NOT HOLDING THE EWA HEAVYWEIGHT FREAKING TITLE! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | HEAVYWEIGHT! THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | HOW DID CANNON LOSE? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | CANNON AT LEAST HAD THE HEIGHT AND WAS GETTING BIGGER! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | NOW A OOMPA LOOMPA IS CHAMPION |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | IS HE AND THE OTHER MEMBERS OF RIOT CITY GOING TO SING?! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | LITTLE LOLLIPOP GUILD MOTHERFUCKERS! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I COULD BEAT WYLDE! HOW DOES CANNON LOSE TO HIM! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I HOPE THAT BLOOD KILLS HIM |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I WANT HIM TO DROP HIM ON HIS HEAD AND SQUASH HIM EVEN SMALLER! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | THAT TINY LITTLE LUCKY CHARMS STEALING SON OF A BITCH |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | IS HE EVEN A CRUISERWEIGHT? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | THAT LITTLE TATTOOED SMURF I HATE HIM! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | HOLY HELL, WHAT IF BLOOD DOESN'T WIN? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, that could never happen. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | At least Blood will beat him horribly |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I will take solace in that |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I hope Blood eats that little bastard |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I hope he beats him to a pulp, then eats him |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Blood will send him back to his tree to make cookies like the elf he is |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Fucking Riot City, those sons of bitches |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Freakin Matt Wylde |
