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168 views • 9/28/2014
boi
| 00:00 - 00:03 | Annabelle now makes 14 grandchildren, and drastic measures are being taken. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | All of the Uncles are considering vasectomy procedures |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | at these medical facilities |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | And all Aunts are considering tube-tying procedures at these medical facilities. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | They are already in the process of scheduling dates with surgeons. |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | Finally. Now we won't have to worry about more damn kids in this family. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Uh, yeaaaaah... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | 'bout that... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | There is another child confirmed on the way. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | This will mark the 15th grandchild in the Crall family. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Those of you who have never found the Afikomo during Passover, leave this room. Now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE KOSHER FUCK?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | WHAT THE LOOPY MATZO BALL SOUPY FUCK?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Why can't this family stop having kids like fucking rabbits in the Sabbath heat? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Fifteen grandkids? Can you imagine the next generation? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | People will think we're fucking Mormons! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Fuck, the vaginas in this family are like the red sea parting |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | with Baby Moses leading civilizations of infants shooting out like bullets from an AK-47! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | LITERAL AMMO CLIPS OF BABIES! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Dr. Lipshitz says babies are cute and adorable and- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | They're cute and adorable when they're not taking up my Hanukkah presents! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But they're chubby and pwecious! |
| 01:48 - 01:50 | Shut your ass up, Samantha! |
| 01:50 - 01:52 | It's pronounced "precious," you borderline illiterate fuck! |
| 01:52 - 01:56 | FUCKING JEWISH JESUS!! |
| 01:56 - 02:00 | I swear to Yaweh's potent dick, this family is in cahoots to populate all of goddamn Israel |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and I bet you Bubie was in charge of the whole secret plan! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | That must be fucking it: have so many stupid babies that we can open up CJ Muggs in every country- |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | NO; every CITY! In the world! Chicken fingers and quesadillas for days! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Why couldn't we just stop after two kids per family? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | But no, of course that's not enough! We have to produce another Maccabee army! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I remember the days when it was just four kids. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | The "Fab 4" we called them. Danielle was the oldest, and liked pushing people down the stairs like a boss! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Nate was the gamer boy; his hero was Crash Bandicoot! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Samantha was the blonde, of course. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And dear, sweet Shaina. She was mental because her hat said so, fucking damnit! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Everything was goddamn apples and honey! Fucking magnificent! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We'd ride around town in our favorite wagon |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | It was fit for four. A tight squeeze sometimes, but it worked! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | But 11 other little shits, where would they even fit?! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, we can always put them in the dungeon to keep Louis company. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I remember the days when Ski trips were small and intimate... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | When we didn't have to wait at the bottom of the mountain for a horde of slow ass mini-hebrews... |
| 03:25 - 03:28 | Who don't understand the basic fucking concept of pizza-french fry. |
| 03:31 - 03:34 | I don't even remember the last time we were all able to go on vacation. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | You know what we should do? We should play Hogwarts sometime. Old school shit, you know? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Or shit, let's just take a Fab 4 trip to Israel... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Preferably when they're not blowing each other the fuck up. |
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